No way to find my way out of the dark.
The two met each other’s gazes again, and I wanted to shake them both. Out with it, already. Beverly sighed. “I know that you and Marshall loved each other very much, but Marshall also loved Natasha. You do remember Natasha, don’t you?”
My breath stopped. Everything did. I couldn’t hear anymore. Natasha was Marshall’s high school girlfriend. The one he had loved, whom everyone thought he would marry. The girl that his parents had thought he would be with forever. Apparently, she’d even had a promise ring and everything. He planned to enlist in the military and immediately bring her with him. She was supposed to be the perfect military wife, and everyone thought everything would work out.
That hadn’t happened. They’d fought after prom and broke up. And then I came along, and things had clicked. Marshall was mine. And yet, his parents spoke of Natasha, their perfect Natasha. And a child.
None of this made any sense.
“We weren’t sure exactly how to tell you,” Beverly said quickly.
I pressed my lips together before letting out a breath. “Please, just tell me quickly because drawing it out like this is killing me.” I hadn’t meant to say it like that, but I couldn’t stop myself. My voice broke, and I hated myself a little bit. I needed to be strong. I needed to wake up from this dream. I couldn’t.
Nothing made sense.
“We always thought Natasha and Marshall were perfect for one another. We thought they would have the rest of their lives together. Then they had that fight and broke up. But instead of getting back together, he met you.”
I heard the derision in her tone, but I ignored it. I had heard this before, but the only time she’d ever sounded so rude about it was when she had been a little too tipsy on champagne one New Year’s. I wasn’t sure she even remembered.
I heard it now. And I didn’t think it was the alcohol giving her the courage to say what she said.
“I know that Marshall loved you very much, but he was conflicted. He also loved Natasha. There was no stopping that. A little over two years ago, Natasha and Marshall welcomed a daughter. Her name is Madison. She is our granddaughter. Natasha didn’t want to be a hindrance, so she decided to raise their daughter on her own. We actually didn’t hear about it until right before Marshall left for his last deployment.”
“I don’t understand,” I said, my voice shaky. “I was married to Marshall then. It wasn’t from before? This isn’t a long-lost secret baby from high school?” I asked, my voice shrill.
People were looking now, and Beverly reached out to grip my hand. I pulled back and continued, my voice shaking. “You knew Marshall cheated on me? How do we even know it’s his?” Or true. How was any of this happening?
“It’s his. She has his eyes, his chin, and she looks just like he did when he was a baby. Madison is Marshall’s. And Natasha works hard, but she never got a college education. She needs help.”
I blinked again, trying to breathe. It all made sense now. At least, as much as it could given the circumstances, the hell of my own making. “Money. You need money. That’s why you’re working as hard as you are. For the granddaughter you never got from me. For the child my husband had with another woman while we were married.” People were definitely staring now, and I had a feeling that someone was going to pull out a camera and start videotaping at any moment.
Tragic widow goes insane at brunch over Bellinis after news about a secret love child. I could see the headlines now.
I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything. This couldn’t be true. If I just woke up from this nightmare, it would be all right. The nightmare of losing my husband hadn’t even ended, and now it was compounded by finding out that Marshall wasn’t exactly the man I thought he was. I couldn’t feel anything. The rage wasn’t swirling. I didn’t have grief or pity, there was nothing. Just ice. I wanted to leave, only I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything but sit there and listen to the people who clearly had never really wanted me in their life to begin with, and let it irrevocably alter my past and present.
“We know you got the SGLI and the death gratuity. And there was back