of whether we make it now that you know what I did.” He lowered his voice as he backed out onto the harbour. “The only thing that would make me happier is for you to believe that.”
For the third time in the last hour, Rob had his back to Jude, only this time he leaned heavily on the harbour wall, as if standing straight without its support was beyond him.
“Rob?”
His glance Jude’s way was fleeting. Something out on the water must’ve been captivating, his stare at it unwavering when Jude let the snug door close behind him and crossed the cobbles to join him. Jude followed where his gaze led, Carl’s fishing boat bobbing gently.
“You heard all of that?”
“I heard enough.”
“Enough for what? To believe me?” Rob hung his head. “Or to send me packing?”
“Enough to know that people do things that look bad from the outside when they have the best of intentions. Did I…? Did I ever tell you how dad taught me to cope in deep water?”
That change of subject got Rob’s full attention. “No.”
“He threw both me and Lou off the sea wall.” He pointed to where waves frothed at the mouth of the harbour. “Over there, where it gets rough.”
That got a reaction. “What? Why? How old were you?” Rob looked at the tall, white-tipped waves foaming in the distance. “Jesus. That sounds terrifying.”
“I don’t remember how old we were. Young, I guess. Five- or six-years-old, maybe. It was pretty scary.”
“I don’t get it.” Rob shook his head with some more force. “Why would he scare the shit out of you like that? Jesus, no wonder you felt like you couldn’t trust him. You know….? Be honest about yourself with him, and yet…”
“And yet what?”
“And yet you dropped everything to try to find him. Why do that for someone who—?” He gestured at the steep drop from the far sea wall.
That was a no-brainer, so easy for Jude to answer. “Of course I’d drop everything to find him. Knowing how to react in deep water saved my life more than a few times as a kid and as an adult. Living around here, it was a skill he knew I needed. Him loving me enough to do it, even though I hated it to start with, is all that really matters.”
“To start with?” Rob’s tone was disbelieving. “You mean you liked it, eventually? Falling all that way?”
“I loved it after the first time.” Even now, the thrill of his dad swinging him up so high before letting him go woke him from dreams sometimes, sure that he was flying. “Even if I’d hated it, keeping me and Lou safe was all he ever wanted.” Then he asked something that Rob usually avoided. “Why do you think your dad wants you to take over his restaurants?” He didn’t respond, so Jude asked another question. “Why did he want you to drive his Range Rover instead of Betsy?”
Rob watched a seagull circling before he responded, grudging. “He said it was much safer.”
“Would you call that being a bad dad?”
“No. Of course I wouldn’t.”
“But you don’t want to be in a box he made, either? Do you see yourself in the kitchen forever?”
Rob’s sigh was another long gust. “No. Not for Dad. Not anywhere, if I’m honest. Front of house is much more my speed.”
Of course it was. “So I can’t help thinking that you cooked my menu to make more than one point.” Jude moved until they were shoulder to shoulder, and he lowered his voice. “Sounds like you know exactly how I can love and hate at the same time.”
“Yeah,” Rob admitted.
“And I’m pretty sure I just heard you admit that I’m much better in the kitchen than you.”
“Maybe. Just a little.”
There was that small quirk of a smile. Jude did his best to help it extend, something inside warming at seeing Rob turn bashful. “And it sounds like you really missed me.”
“Don’t go getting a big head. Maybe I still just want your body.”
“It’s all yours.” It was easy to say that out here in a place he thought he’d never get to be open, just like it was easier than he ever imagined to slide an arm around Rob’s shoulder, to pull and nudge until he turned to face him, their feet slotted together. “You didn’t cosy up to me in London just to nick my best dish, did you?”
The roll of Rob’s eyes was one answer. Him leaning his forehead against Jude’s, one