to breathe through the pounding in my chest. When I parked my car into a spot behind her building, my phone rang, and I saw Sofia’s number. We weren’t scheduled to talk for a few days, so I took the call right away, hoping it wasn’t an emergency.
“Hey, sis.”
“They almost took Blue today.” Her voice was more panicked than I’d ever heard and she was obviously crying. “She was with Ma while I was at work, and she walked out of the house and was roaming around the neighborhood when someone found her and called the police. Apparently Billy was sent home from a job for acting like an asshole. So she had a drink to appease him and forgot she’d taken her meds. She nodded off somehow while he was sleeping it off upstairs and Blue was on her own.”
I felt the anger, the rage, of again hearing about one more time my mother could not be bothered to choose anyone over my father. I was also frustrated with Sofia. I’d known that her plan to only leave the baby when Billy was out of the house was not foolproof. My father always found a way to fuck things up. But saying that right now would only make things worse. Again the thought that moving ten miles away would not be enough distance flooded my mind.
“Is she okay, is Blue all right?”
Sofia shuddered before speaking, and I could tell she was working hard not to start sobbing again. “She’s okay. Thank God someone saw her before she actually walked into the street. She had the iPad you got her for Christmas with her, so she was distracted. She could’ve just walked into traffic and gotten hit by a car, Rocco.” Her voice was shaking, and I felt myself get more worked up with every word. “The lady who found her called the police and they called CPS, not that I blame them. I should’ve listened to you, but I always feel so guilty for not letting Mom see the baby.” She was openly crying again, the fear clear in her voice.
“Dammit.” I wanted to tell her we should just leave our parents and their problems in New York. That we needed some peace. That we didn’t owe them anything. But instead, I let her talk, knowing this would just add to all the shitty decisions I would need to make in the next few hours.
“They interviewed me for so long. They left Blue with me since I only let Ma watch her for a few hours a week and we don’t live there. But they are opening an investigation; they’re coming to our apartment tomorrow for a home visit. They called the advocate that Julia hooked me up with and she talked to them. They’ll call you too, to ask about me and if I’m a good mom.” Her voice gave out then, and it was all I could do not to catch a plane back to New York just so I could beat the shit out of my father. “I was so scared, Rocco. I thought they were going to take my baby.”
“It’s all right, sweetheart. We’ll figure this out. No one’s taking Blue from you.”
Sofia had worked her ass off the last few years to get herself and Blue to a good place. The one thing still keeping her on the ledge of losing her safety and her child was my parents. They were like a fucking anvil, keeping both of us shackled to their toxic drama. I had to get Sofia and Blue away from them. They were perfectly capable of doing something to get Blue taken from Sofia and then tell her it was her own fault.
“Are you home tomorrow?”
She shuddered out another breath, before answering my question. “Yeah. I told my boss I needed the day. He wasn’t thrilled but he gave me the time off. But the day care doesn’t open again until after New Year’s. I may ask Evelyn, my neighbor, to watch her for the few days before school starts. She’s there with her girls and Blue loves them.”
I heard shifting and Blue’s muffled voice asking for something. Sofia spoke softly to her. I felt responsible for not letting Blue get caught up in the same bullshit we’d grown up with.
I exhaled and felt like shit for not being able to do more. “I wish I was there to help you. I wish you didn’t have to depend so much on