wanted to impress him by telling him I’d casually happened by the shop, as if I went there all the time.
I could see it now.
Oh, I was in Thidwick’s yesterday. They just received a very rare edition of a Maugham book. I’m considering getting it. What do you think?
Yeah, right. Like he’d believe that.
And why did I care what he thought of me, anyway?
I didn’t even have to think about the answer to that question.
I wanted him to regard me as more than a go-go dancer. I wanted him to think of me as smart and well-read, something not many people saw me as.
My mother had told me not to go to college. My high school teachers told me I’d never make it. Even my guidance counselor had told me not to bother taking the SAT—that it was a waste of my time.
I hadn’t been the best student. And I might have been suspended for smoking and fighting.
A few times.
But there weren’t many things that motivated me like naysayers.
I’d show them all, including Professor Adler.
“Hello. May I help you?” a high male voice asked from behind me.
Holy crap. Now this was a bookstore. It looked like something out of freaking Harry Potter. Right down to the elderly gent offering assistance. He was actually wearing a tweed vest and wire-rimmed glasses.
“Oh. Hello. My English professor told me about this shop, so I wanted to see it myself.”
I headed down the main aisle and when I stopped at a row called British Authors, I realized the clerk was right on my tail.
“Oh. Excuse me,” I said when I bumped into him.
“Perhaps if you tell me what you’re looking for,” he said, looking me up and down, “I can save you the time of wandering about.”
I shook my head, displeased by his once-over. “Thanks. I’ll let you know if I need anything,” and I started to walk away, charmed by the slight musty smell and dark bookshelves towering all the way to the ceiling.
“Miss, I don’t think we have anything for you,” he said stiffly.
I whipped around. Was he giving me a hard time? I was a fucking customer.
“Do you have a problem, mister?” I asked, taking a step toward him.
You can take a girl out of the neighborhood, but you can’t take the neighborhood out of a girl.
His eyes widened, and he took a step back, clearly not expecting me to call him out. But he double-downed anyway. “We don’t have anything for you.”
“How would you know? I’ve not even told you what I’m interested in—” I started to say.
But when I realized the way I’d dressed, in jeans, thigh-high boots, and a fringed leather jacket, had allowed him to pass judgment, it all became clear.
“I see. You don’t want me here because I don’t look the way you think I should.”
Memories of those who’d doubted me came flooding back, accompanied by a creeping insecurity I thought I’d shaken off.
Fucker.
I turned on my heel, brushing against him as I made for the door. I wouldn’t normally let such a little weasel chase me away, but I was fighting off tears that I couldn’t risk the asshole seeing. I bolted out of the dark shop into the last of the day’s sunlight, and even though the sun was low, I pulled on my sunglasses.
With a couple deep breaths, I’d halted the threatening tears. I was good at it. I never let myself cry.
Chapter 8
PROFESSOR JAMES CARTER
“Dude, what is it about academic life? I always feel like I’m getting fucked in the ass.”
I waved the bartender over. I needed another beer. “Two more Stellas,” I said, throwing a twenty on the bar.
“What’s up? Same old crap?” Benno asked.
I looked at my friend, known to his students as Professor Benjamin Adler. He’d climbed up the academic ladder like it was made for him. Published his English papers to great acclaim. His students loved him. And he’d just been voted Sexiest Teacher in the West or something stupid like that.
Which irritated the hell out of him.
My journey through the academic world had been much bumpier. One step forward, two steps back. My latest challenge was, plain and simple, that the head of the department where I taught was not a fan of mine. But in fairness to him, quite a few people weren’t fans of mine. Nor of my family.
That’s how things went when your dad was an embezzler of epic proportion, whose misdeeds cost hundreds of people their life savings and even retirement. And as