nothing comes.
“Thank you,” he breathes out, and my eyes snap open as I see him grasp the phone someone’s holding up between us. I follow the arm to the person next to me: Karen.
“Where the hell was it?” he asks her.
“You left it in my car, stupid.”
Connor chuckles. “No, you.”
Karen faces me. “Hey, Ava.”
All I can do is stand there, fighting back the hurt, the betrayal. I know she’s watching me, they both are, and there’s no justified reaction to match what I’m feeling, what I’m thinking.
I bet she has no idea what he gets up to when she’s not around.
I look back at Connor, willing the tears away. “I’ll see you in class.”
Connor and I say nothing to each other as we sit together in psych class. There’s no hand on my leg, no witty banter.
There’s just him.
And me.
In two very different worlds.
I grasp on to my textbook as I stare ahead, hearing but not listening to everything going on around me. The class phone rings, and Mr. McCallister pauses his speech to answer it. Back turned to the class, the conversation in the room picks up.
“Psst!” Rhys hisses, kicking the back of Connor’s chair. “Where the hell did you disappear to last night?”
Connor shrugs but doesn’t say anything.
I keep my eyes forward, watching as Mr. McCallister turns to the class, phone still to his ear, and then his gaze locks on me. He’s nodding, his lips pulled down in a frown. My chest rises with my shaky inhale, and I sit up higher, my life source pumping rapidly as he hangs up, starts moving toward me. The world around me is silent, bar his heavy footsteps as he closes in.
I shudder an exhale.
And then Connor’s hand finds mine on the desk, linking our fingers together.
Mr. McCallister squats down to my level. “Ava, sweetheart, have you got your phone on you?”
I pull it out of my pocket. The battery’s dead because I hadn’t charged it overnight. I spent the entire night walking the streets aimlessly, and I hadn’t been home except to change into my uniform. I didn’t plan on staying. I just came here for Connor…
“It’s um… it’s…” I drop the phone on the desk and look up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“You’re needed at home.”
“Okay,” I breathe out, feeling the first panic-induced tear slide down my cheek. I swipe it away. “Can I use the phone to call a cab?”
Mr. McCallister eyes Connor, and Connor says, “I don’t have my car here.”
Rhys speaks up. “I’ll take you, A.”
Connor
I’d been dreading seeing Ava all morning. When I saw her at my locker, I stood firm. I wanted her to know that she’d hurt me and that I was pissed, and I wasn’t going to back down. The past few times we’d been together, I’d needed her, and she hadn’t even been present enough to listen to what I was saying.
But when Mr. McCallister started to approach her in psych, I felt her fear, and I realized that I had no idea what had been going on with her. Not really. And it’s not that I don’t ask, but she never opens up about it. She never fully lets me in. Never tells me anything.
During lunch, I ask Rhys to take me to his house so I can pick up my car. He has no idea why Ava had to go home. He said that she’d been silent on the drive there and he didn’t want to push her.
I send her a text, hope she’s had time to charge her phone.
Connor: Is everything okay?
Ava: Yes.
I know I should head back to school, but once I’m in my car, the only place I can think to go is Ava’s.
I stand on her lawn and send her another message.
Connor: Any chance you can come out for five? I think we need to talk.
The curtains part on Ava’s front window, and a second later, she’s stepping out and sitting on her porch steps.
I sit next to her, my heart heavy, mind clouded with confusion. I swallow my nerves. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, there was just no one available to watch her today,” she says, her tone flat, her gaze distant.
I heave out a breath, keep my eyes on her. And I know it’s not the right time or place, but I can’t keep doing this. Going around and around like we are. “What’s going on with us, A?”
“I don’t know,” she says, her gaze trailing to mine. “Why don’t you tell me?”
“What does that