hands up in surrender. “I’m going.” I glance toward Ava’s house, shocked to see her standing in her doorway watching us all. I lift my hand in a wave. She shuts the door between us.
Ava
“What’s going on outside?” Mom asks, agitated.
I close the door, jealousy and resentment forming an ache in my chest too large to ignore. I plaster on a smile and sit back down at the table, moving Mom’s speech therapy flashcards around aimlessly. “It’s just some kids from school,” I mumble.
“Are they messing with the house again?” she asks, her eyes narrowed, fist balled on the table.
“No, Mama. They’re just out there talking to Connor.”
She snorts. “Who the hell is Connor?”
“He’s…” He’s a boy who deserves to have the life being offered to him. “He’s no one.”
Connor
In my room, between getting dressed, I text Ava.
Connor: Rhys is forcing me out of the house, then I have the showcase this afternoon, but I’m free after if you want me to come by.
Connor: We can sit on your front porch for all of twenty seconds and watch the grass grow. I don’t really care. I just want to see you.
I wait a good five minutes for her to respond, ignoring Rhys on my doorstep telling me to hurry the fuck up. I send a text to Dad sleeping in the next room and tell him where I’ll be.
Then I send another message to Ava.
Connor: I just really miss you is all. If you never want to talk about what happened—the kiss thing—that’s cool. Just don’t shut me out, Ava. Please.
Ava
“So, I met Connor,” Peter says, sitting on the couch next to me while Mom sits in her room, alone, staring at the wall because she’d rather be doing that than be around me right now.
Today is a negative day. I just haven’t worked out how bad it is yet.
“And?” I ask, reading back the stream of texts Connor had just sent me.
“And he seems like a decent kid.”
I think about Connor and how much things will change for him now that he’s in the spotlight. He’ll have more friends than he knows what to do with, and girls like Karen… and then there’s me. And right now, he thinks that I’ll be enough, but that won’t last forever, and even after an incredible life-changing kiss, nothing’s changed. I’ll still be me, always, and he’ll get sick of the wanting and waiting, and he’ll move on. I reread the message: Just don’t shut me out, Ava. “He’s a dreamer,” I mumble. A disbeliever.
Peter asks, “What do you mean?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, rid the fog. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
Connor
Sitting in the front seat of Rhys’s car, Oscar moans, rests his head on the window. Next to me, Chad, another senior on the team, does the same. “What’s up with you guys?” I ask.
“Not so loud,” Chad groans.
Karen looks past Chad in the middle of the back seat and tells me, “They’re hung-over.”
“Oh man,” I laugh out. “Big night?”
Karen’s lips purse. “Uh-huh. My birthday party last night. I invited you but…”
Shit. I’d completely forgotten. “I had a ton of homework,” I lie.
“Sure,” she says, offering a painstakingly fake smile.
We get to the sports park and hit the food trucks first. Rhys seems to get one of everything while the other two guys pick at their food. Karen’s sitting next to me, and I don’t really know why she’s here, but the other guys don’t seem to mind it so it must be a regular thing. Rhys lets out an ear-piercing belch when he’s done, gets up, and smacks the other two guys upside their heads. “Let’s hit the cages,” he orders, and the two get up groaning, but follow him anyway. I’m still eating my food and so is Karen, so we awkwardly sit in silence. I don’t know what to say, and she doesn’t speak. I check my phone. Still no Ava.
“Look at those dumbasses,” Karen says, pointing to the cages. Oscar’s in the cage, his helmet on backward, balls flying at his head. “You know what they say is the best thing to do when balls are coming at your face?”
“What?” I ask.
She faces me and says, smirking, “Don’t open your mouth.”
A chuckle erupts from deep in my throat. “Hey, how come you don’t seem as hung-over as them?”
She shrugs. “I don’t drink.”
“Serious?” I ask, unable to hide my shock.
She laughs at my response. “We have the same trick, you and me. Walk around with a full