“Not of you physically hurting me. That’s why I asked how you would react if a woman refused to do what you wanted.”
“Good. Because I’d never hurt you, Zoe.”
A small, sad smile crossed her face. “Oh, I don’t know about that.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“For years, I watched the people I love make all the wrong decisions, because they followed their hearts and not their heads. I won’t make the same mistake.
“It’s my responsibility to protect myself, Ryder. When it comes to dealing with you, that means also protecting myself emotionally. Because, if I would agree to do what you want—”
She lifted her head and their eyes met.
“—you would break my heart.”
CHAPTER 16
He’d been hit by some of the biggest enforcers in the league, but nothing could have prepared him for the emotional sucker punch she’d just doled out.
Jesus.
Zoe watched him with those huge, soulful green eyes. She was so damn vulnerable. So fucking honest.
She’d bared her soul, her story and her heart. Right now, he wanted to give her whatever she needed from him. Fuck his self-important, endless bullshit.
Suddenly, it seemed very important for him to find out if his reaction to her would be different than it had been with those other women this past week.
If he was being honest with himself, he was more than a little nervous about the idea of having sex with Zoe again. Even though they had shared a few blazing hot encounters, his multiple epic fails at sex with other women had his confidence shaken.
Another first. He never lacked confidence, not when it came to sex or hockey.
He liked this girl. He admired her for sticking to her guns and what she wanted to accomplish in her career. She lived what she believed, and he respected that.
He wasn’t sure if liking her would be better or worse for him in the bedroom. History dictated their chemistry would ignite like a bomb, but this new pattern of failure had him freaked out.
Scratch that. It had him plain fucking scared.
If things did heat up with Zoe, he’d know he was supposed to be with this girl.
Only this girl.
The idea of being with only one woman again freaked him out, and added to his already frayed nerves. He wasn’t sure if he could handle being exclusive, but he’d be willing to try—for her.
What he couldn’t handle was a repeat of the past week. Between the shitty sleep patterns, bad dreams, struggling to do his job on the ice and his disappearing sex drive, he was barely holding it together. If one more thing went wrong, he’d lose it.
For now, he needed to focus on getting her alone.
***
He pulled up to her apartment complex and shut off the SUV.
“Thank you for dinner,” she said.
He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. Christ, he was nervous. He didn’t do nervous. “Okay if I come in for a few minutes?”
Zoe hesitated, then shrugged. “I guess.”
He followed her up the apartment steps and waited as she unlocked the door. “Where’s Leah?”
Flicking on the living room light, she said, “Over at her boyfriend’s house. She’s there most nights now. Would you like something to drink?”
He shook his head and sat on the couch. “No. Come here.”
Zoe sat next to him and let out a shaky sigh. “What?”
“Don’t overthink this.” He placed his finger under her chin and turned her face toward his, then touched his lips to hers.
She trembled as he traced one finger down the delicate hollow of her throat. He placed his lips there and her pulse fluttered.
“We shouldn’t do this,” she whispered. “It’s a bad idea.”
“Please. Let me kiss you.”
The moment their lips met, her fingers tangled in his hair. He pressed himself closer to her as they kissed. Grabbing his belt loops, she dragged him down on top of her until he settled between her thighs.
Zoe’s breath hitched and she made a sexy little sound when he brushed his lips across her collarbone.
Oh, he remembered that sound. A rush of excitement flooded through him and he got hard.
“Oh fuck yeah, Zoe,” he whispered. She was exactly what he needed. His body thrummed with desire.
He skimmed his hands down her body, pausing to caress the exposed skin between her shirt and jean shorts. He ran his tongue along her delicate hipbone, and she shivered.
He wanted her wet and ready for him. When they met she’d been soaked just from kissing. It had excited him that first night, and it excited him now just thinking about it.
She excited him.
“Ryder,” she whispered.
He