him. He knew it was a big deal for women. Hell, it was a big deal for everyone.
“You’re great looking, Ryder. Actually the question is, ‘why not?’ I told you, I moved here for adventure. Until tonight, I haven’t had any. It was a good place to start.”
He took a drink of beer. “Now what, you start screwing random guys for ‘adventure’?”
Zoe raised an eyebrow.
“I’m sorry.” He had zero room to tell anyone whom they should screw. “That was rude.”
“It’s what we did, isn’t it?” she asked, lifting her chin. “We screwed. Or fucked. Whatever you want to call it. But, the answer to your question is no. Contrary to what happened tonight, I’m not going to start having sex with random strangers.”
“Good, because you deserve better.”
“Better than what?” she asked, tilting her head and giving him a curious look. “You?”
“Fuck yes.” He slammed his beer bottle on the coffee table. “It’s late. Come on. I’ll show you to the guest room.”
Her face fell. “I’m not sleeping in your room?”
“I plan to keep my hands to myself for the rest of the night.”
She walked over to the recliner and put her hand on his forearm. “You don’t have to,” she said, her voice soft.
He closed his eyes, fighting an urge to sweep her into his arms and carry her upstairs to his bedroom. “Yes, I do. It’s been a long night, and you need some recovery time whether you realize it or not. And, I have practice early tomorrow morning. I need some sleep.”
When she didn’t respond, he said, “I’m trying to be a gentleman.” He stood and gave her hand a squeeze.
She traced her fingers along the waistband of his shorts. “I don’t want you to.”
Normally, he’d have no problem fulfilling that request. But, he didn’t trust himself around her at the moment. He felt too greedy and raw.
Smoothing a long lock of red hair behind her ear, he said, “I know. But, that’s the way it has to be.”
***
Ryder flopped back on his bed and let out a groan.
He’d ushered her into the guest room a few minutes ago, said goodnight, and placed a quick kiss on her cheek. Her disappointment had been obvious.
Still, he wasn’t lying about trying to be a gentleman. Even if she didn’t realize it, he knew she’d had enough for the night. Besides, all it would take would be another doe-eyed look from her and he’d ignore his own good sense.
His cell phone beeped with a text.
Fally: You get the little lady home okay?
Nosy bastard. He scrubbed a hand down his face.
Ryder: No. She’s at my house. In the next room.
As expected, his cell phone rang.
“In the next room? Why isn’t she under you?”
“Oh come on, Fally. She got locked out of her apartment and her roommate wasn’t home. The super wasn’t there, so I let her stay here,” Ryder snapped. “Why can’t you mind your own damn business?”
Fally chuckled.
“What’s so fucking funny?”
“I don’t know. Mr. Calm, Cool and Collected has his feathers all ruffled. What the hell happened over there?”
Ryder grit his teeth. “What do you think?”
“So, why is she in the other room? Relax, Irish. She’s a cutie. What’s wrong with that?”
“You know what’s wrong with that. She’s not my type.”
“No, she’s not. And you know what? Good, Ryder. Fucking good.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ryder snapped. “You had no issue with this lifestyle before you married Nic. Don’t pretend you didn’t love pushing sexual boundaries with women.”
“No, you’re right. I loved it. Now that I’m with Nic, I have someone I care about to push those boundaries with, instead of fucking random women who don’t give a shit about me. And who I don’t give a shit about.”
“I don’t want a commitment. How many times do I have to say it? Stop fucking trying to marry me off, Fally.”
The line went silent for a few moments before Fally spoke, his voice quiet. “Do you even remember what it’s like to care about someone? You’ve been in lockdown for seven years, man. Danielle is gone. I’m sorry, but she is. You’ve put yourself in a prison of your own making since she died.”
“Are you done?” Ryder closed his eyes. The memories came rushing back, and as always he drowned in them, going under from the crash of feelings that assaulted him like angry waves.
“Yeah. I’m done. I just want you to be happy again, Irish. Fucking be happy.”
Fally had hung up, and Ryder chucked his iPhone on the nightstand.
Yeah, he remembered