doing this to me?” He could barely hear her.
“Doing what?” he asked.
“Giving me hope.”
Hearing the anguish in her voice destroyed him. He wasn’t sure how to respond.
“You keep giving me hope, too.” He closed his eyes. “You know that, right?”
“Too bad we’re hoping for different things,” she said quietly.
“We’re good together,” he told her. “You’ve got to see that.”
“I do see that.” Her voice sounded strained. “Why do you think I spend all my time running away from you?”
“So stop running. Stop running, and say yes.”
“Ryder—”
“You’re so different from anyone I’ve ever met,” he said, cutting her off. “Why won’t you consider it?”
“You know why.”
“I was honest with you when I told you that I don’t do commitment. You were fine with that the first night. What’s changed, Zoe?”
“It’s one thing to just date and not be exclusive. It’s quite another when the man you are interested in is seeing fifteen other women.”
“If you want me to stop pursuing you, why don’t you just tell me you don’t want me?”
“Because it would be a lie.” Her voice wavered. “And I’ve never lied to you. I respect you more than that. Though obviously, you don’t respect me.”
“What the hell does that mean?” he asked, offended.
“Asking me about my life, making small talk, wanting to take me ice-skating—”
“How is that not respecting you?” he interrupted.
“You’re just being nice to me so you can get what you want. Do you really think I can just go out to the movies with you, or go skating, and act normal, all the while knowing you are sleeping with more than a dozen other women? I can’t do that.”
“I’m nice to you because I like you. I respect you more than any woman I’ve slept with, so put that idea out of your head right now. What I want to know is, where’s the woman who craved adventure and excitement, who was trying to break out of her rigid, follow-the-rules persona? Where did she go?”
“You think I don’t still want that?”
“If you did, you’d be with me right now.”
She didn’t respond.
“Why are you so damn afraid of me, Zoe? Why can’t you let go and have some fun? Stop listening to your head and follow your heart.”
“I-I have to go.” Her voice hitched, and she sounded like she was about to cry.
Fuck. He was frustrated. He’d meant to call her and have a lighthearted conversation. He wanted to hear her voice, and make her laugh.
Why did things always get so serious with her? Everything always seemed so overwhelming. He wanted to see her live a little, and be the way she’d been on that first night. A girl who took some chances.
“Don’t cry,” he whispered. “Christ, I didn’t want to upset you. I just wanted to talk. Talk to me, Zoe.”
He heard her take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, Ryder. I can’t be the girl you want, or do the things you want me to do. I keep telling you that, but you aren’t listening. The sooner you accept that, the easier things will be on both of us.”
The wavering voice was gone, replaced by a resolute, unwavering tone.
“Strawberry, please.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “Goodnight.”
The line went silent. He pulled the phone away from his ear, stared at it a moment, then tossed it on the bed.
She’d rejected him three times now.
He figured it was time to take a hint and move the hell on. Still, he just couldn’t shake the feeling there was something she wasn’t telling him. A bigger reason she kept rejecting him.
CHAPTER 13
Ryder stalked toward the locker room, cursing a blue streak. They’d just lost to Pittsburgh 4—0, and his shitty performance had gotten progressively worse as the game wore on.
He’d missed a shitload of passes, gotten two penalties and fanned on a shot directly in front of the net. In the third period, he hit Pittsburgh’s goal post on two separate occasions.
To say he was playing like hell would be the understatement of the decade. The hometown fans let him know it, too. Eighteen thousand people complaining in unison certainly gave his ego a massive reality check.
“What the hell happened out there?” Fally asked. He sat down next to Ryder and pulled off his jersey. “I haven’t seen you play a game that bad in years.”
Ryder grimaced and yanked off his helmet. “It was one bad game. Let it go, Fally.”
“Your piss-poor effort has nothing to do with Zoe, right?”
Ryder grit his teeth. “No.”
Fally yanked off his skates. “You’re a terrible liar, Irish.