to live on or not? I will go to the chair of my department on Monday and have him increase your fellowship if you tell me you need it. I’ll give you my American Express card tonight, for God’s sake. I won’t have you hungry. I won’t.”
Julia was momentarily silent, for his reaction astonished her.
“I’m fine, Professor. I have enough money if I’m careful. My apartment makes cooking a problem, but I promise you, I’m not starving.”
Gabriel slowly began dancing again, leading her gently across the floor.
He looked down at her lovely shoes. “Will you be selling those to buy groceries? Or to pay your rent?”
“Of course not! They came from Grace, sort of. I would never, ever, part with them. No matter what.”
“Will you promise that if ever you are desperate for money, you’ll come to me? For Grace’s sake?”
Julia averted her eyes, choosing to remain silent.
He sighed and lowered his voice. “I know I don’t deserve your trust, but I’m asking for it only in this one respect. Will you promise?”
She took a deep breath and held it. “Is it very important to you?”
“In the extreme. Yes.”
She exhaled noisily. “Then yes, I promise.”
“Thank you.” He exhaled in relief.
“Rachel and Grace were always good to me, especially after my mother died.”
“When did your mother die?”
“My senior year of high school. I was already living with my dad in Selinsgrove by then. She was in St. Louis.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” She moved her mouth as if she was going to say something further, but stopped.
“It’s all right,” he whispered. “You can say it.” He gazed into her eyes encouragingly, and for a moment Julia forgot what she’d wanted to say. But she recovered herself.
“Um, I was just going to say that if you ever need someone to talk to—about Grace, I mean. I know Rachel is going back to Philadelphia. But I’ll be here, um, obviously. Not that it would be very professional, but I’ll be around. Um. Yeah, that’s it.”
She avoided his eyes, and he felt her whole body tense as if she was steeling herself for something awful to happen.
What have I done to this poor girl? She’s terrified I’ll lash out at her or something.
Gabriel knew that he deserved her wariness, and so he resolved to lavish her with kindness…at least until the song ended and they inhabited their professional roles once again. Then he would be distant, but gentle.
“Julianne, look at me. You know, I don’t have any prohibitions against people looking me in the eye.”
She glanced up at him hesitantly.
“That’s a very kind offer. Thank you. I don’t like to talk about certain things, but I’ll keep you in mind.” He smiled at her again, and this time the smile remained. “You have both charity and kindness, two of the most important of the heavenly virtues. In fact, I’m sure you have all seven.”
Especially chastity, they each thought to themselves, independently. And he thinks chastity is something to ridicule, thought Julia.
“I haven’t really danced like this before,” she said wistfully.
“Then I’m glad I’m your first.” He squeezed her hand warmly.
Julia froze.
“Julianne? What’s wrong?”
Her eyes glazed over, and her skin grew very cold. Gabriel watched as the virulent blush that had spread across her cheeks not two minutes earlier faded completely, and her skin became a translucent white, like rice paper. She wouldn’t look at him, and when he flexed his hand against her lower back, it was as if she couldn’t even feel it.
When Julia came out of her trance or shock or whatever it was, he tried to get her to talk to him, but she was too shaken to do so. He had no idea what had happened, so he waved to Rachel and asked her to take Julia to the ladies’ room. Then he went to the bar and ordered a double, downing it quickly before they returned.
Gabriel made an executive decision and decided it was time for them to go home. Miss Mitchell was clearly unwell, and The Vestibule was no place for her, even under normal circumstances. He knew that at a certain point in the evening the men would become drunk and grabby and the women would become drunk and horny. He didn’t want his baby sister and the beautiful and virginal Miss Mitchell exposed to either type of behavior. So he settled his tab and asked Ethan to provide them with two taxis, with the full intention of paying the taxi driver for Miss Mitchell’s cab and instructing him