medicine. That act alone terminated our interactions, and I was immediately flung out of her house.”
“She hit you?”
“More than once,” rasped Gabriel grimly. “That was the point.”
“Gabriel.” His name came out as something akin to a sob, and his heart was instantly pierced. “How could you? How could you let her touch you, let alone hurt you?”
He encircled her with his arms and squeezed her tightly. “Julianne, you do not want to hear this. Please forget what Paul said. Forget all about her.”
“I can’t. I can’t forget what you said in your lecture this afternoon. Your description of the act of making love was really beautiful, but that’s not what you want. Or maybe you think it’s impossible for lovers to be like that.”
Gabriel’s eyes bored into hers. “Of course it’s what I want. Of course I think it’s possible. I’ve just never experienced it.” He cleared his throat. “You aren’t the only virgin in this relationship.”
She looked at him in surprise. “Then why would you want someone to hurt you? Haven’t you been hurt enough?”
His face wore a pained expression.
“Gabriel, your life is like a series of locked, secret rooms. I have no idea what lurks behind those doors. And you won’t tell me. I have to find out about your ex-girlfriend from your research assistant!”
“She was never my girlfriend. And I asked you about Simon, and you wouldn’t tell me anything. So far we are even.”
Julia winced.
“I told you about my mother.”
Gabriel sighed. “Yes, you did. And hearing what happened to you in St. Louis hurt me far more than I can say. More than Ann and her parlor tricks.” He shook his head. “You’re right. I should have told you about her.”
He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and Julia heard his fists slide into the pockets of his trousers. “I thought that when I told you, you’d be so repulsed that you’d run. You’d realize I truly am a devil.”
“You’re no devil. You’re a fallen angel who still has goodness left in him. A fallen angel who aspires to make love with a woman and treat her with tenderness,” whispered Julia. She closed her eyes. “Hearing about Professor Singer from you would have been far better than finding out like this. Or having it flaunted in front of me when you wouldn’t even look in my direction.”
“I wear tremendous shame, Julianne, which is something you know precious little about.”
“You aren’t the only sinner in this closet, Gabriel.” She opened her eyes and inhaled slowly. “Which is why I can’t hold your past sins against you. Do you still want her?”
“Of course not!” His demeanor immediately shifted to outrage. “We did not have a relationship, Julianne—we had a couple of encounters. It was over a year ago, and I haven’t been involved with her since.” He sighed deeply. “If you insist, I’ll tell you more, but I can’t do it now. Can you give me until after dinner to explain? Please?”
She chewed her lip pensively.
Gabriel gently pressed his mouth to hers, tugging her lip free with his own and slowly releasing her. “Please don’t hurt yourself. It upsets me.”
“I could say the same to you.”
His shoulders slumped forward, and he groaned a little.
“I will give you until after dinner only if you promise not to let her touch you.”
“Gladly.”
Julia exhaled deeply. “Thank you.”
“So you’ll stay?”
She shook her head. “I can’t sit across the table from her and eat paella. She makes me sick.”
“I’ll take you home.”
“You’re the guest of honor. You can’t leave.”
Gabriel ran his fingers through his hair as he thought for a moment. “At least let me call a taxi for you. I’ll try to extricate myself as soon as possible. My concierge will let you in.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a money clip.
She waved his hand aside. “I have my own money.”
“Let me give you my credit card so you can order dinner and have it delivered.”
“I can’t eat.”
He sighed and rubbed at his eyes.
She turned to leave, but Gabriel reached out and grasped her elbow.
“Wait.” He stared down at her, his voice pleading. “When I saw you walk into the lecture hall, my heart leaped. My heart leaped, Julianne. You’ve never looked more beautiful. You looked…happy.” He swallowed noisily. “I’m sorry I killed that look. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth. Do you think…you might be able to forgive me?”
“You didn’t sin against me, Gabriel.” Her eyes slowly began to fill with tears. “I’m