death of a child, so justice requires that you give back a life. Not coins, not presents, but life.”
He sat motionless, but she knew he was listening.
“You saved Paulina’s life, but I know you won’t count that. So you need to save the life of someone else’s child. Wouldn’t that pay for your sin? Or at least offer some kind of restitution?”
“It wouldn’t bring Maia back. But it would be something. It would make me less—evil.” Gabriel’s shoulders hunched in his chair as he hung his head low.
The pain in his voice almost rent Julia’s heart in two, but she continued bravely. “You would have to find a child who was in danger of dying and save her. And that would be atonement.”
He nodded slightly, stifling a groan.
Julia sank down on her knees, taking his hands in hers. “Don’t you see, Gabriel? I am that child.”
He lifted his head and stared at her as if she were mad, his watery eyes boring into her own.
“Simon could have killed me. He was so angry when I slapped him, he was going to break through my bedroom door and kill me. Even if I had called nine-one-one, they never would have arrived in time.
“But you saved me. You pulled him away from my door. You kept him from going back into the house. I am alive now only because of you. I am Tom’s baby girl, and you saved my life.”
He remained motionless, entirely without words.
“A life for a life—that’s what you said. You think you took a life, and now you’ve saved one.
“You have to forgive yourself. Ask Paulina to forgive you, ask God to forgive you, but you have to forgive yourself.”
“It isn’t enough,” he whispered, his great, sad eyes still wet with tears.
“It won’t bring your daughter back, that’s true. But think about the gift you gave Tom—his only daughter. Turn our debt into penance. You are not a devil, you’re an angel. My angel.”
Gabriel stared at her quietly, trying to read her eyes, her lips, her expression. When he was finished, he held his hand out and drew her into his arms, settling her on his lap. He held her for what seemed like forever as his tears spilled onto her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. I’m sorry my story is true. I’ve killed your faith in me. I know that.”
“I still love you.”
She tried to soothe him by murmuring in his ear, by letting him release his grief through his tears. And when his tears finally subsided, she touched the buttons of his white shirt and began undoing them quickly, before he could ask what she was doing. She peeled the shirt back from his naked chest and ran her fingers around his tattoo. Then slowly, very slowly, she lowered her lips to the dragon’s mouth and kissed it.
When she sat back, Gabriel stared at her in silent wonder.
She removed her scarf and gently lifted his hand so that he was touching her bite mark, a mark that had faded slightly but not disappeared. And she placed her hand on top of his tattoo. He winced and closed his eyes.
“We both have scars. And maybe you’re right, they won’t disappear. But I am your atonement, Gabriel. My life is your gift to a father who could have lost his child forever. Thank you.”
“I’m a hypocrite.” His voice was rough. “I told Tom he was a terrible father. What kind of father was I?”
“A young one. An inexperienced one. You shouldn’t have been taking drugs. But you wanted Maia. You said so yourself.”
He shuddered as they clung to one another.
“Nothing I can say will bring her back. But if it would comfort you, I would say that I believe your little girl is singing with the blessed in Paradise. With Grace.” She wiped his tears away. “I’m sure that Grace and Maia would want you to find love and forgiveness. They would pray for your redemption. They wouldn’t think that you’re evil.”
“How can you be sure?” he whispered.
“I learned this from you. Canto thirty-two of Dante’s Paradiso describes the special place God has for children. Of such are the kingdom of heaven. And in Paradise, there is only love and forgiveness. No hatred. No malice. Only peace.”
He pulled her close and the couple, held one another tightly. Julia could not have imagined Gabriel’s secret. And although she was distressed with the way his melancholy disposition had fashioned his grief,