handed me a drink.
“I am,” I said. “It makes no sense.”
“I get it,” she said. “I used to get that way too. It’s a crazy feeling. Standing here. All these people wanting to see your man.”
“Oh, Sab isn’t… we’re just…”
“Right,” Liv said with a smile.
I opened my mouth to fight back a little but all the lights went out.
I gasped and grabbed for Liv’s hand.
“The show is starting,” she yelled to me.
The fans started to cheer.
Shadowy figures emerged seconds later. I realized it was the band.
One by one, they all walked past us, a guitar in their hand, heading to the stage.
My teeth chattered and my heart raced.
When I saw Sab, I waved to him like I hadn’t seen him in years.
He simply nodded to me.
It was that cool, bad boy head nod that threatened to break my heart.
Fuck.
I hurried to drink whatever it was Liv gave me.
It was some kind of mixed drink. It was sweet. I couldn’t really taste the alcohol in it, but I knew it was there.
The band took to the stage and started to play without saying a word.
The song they played was the new one they wrote.
As soon as I realized what song it was, my eyes filled with tears.
It was such a sad goodbye kind of song.
The lights slowly came back on, a spotlight pointing at each rock star on stage.
They played. They sang.
The five of them…
I had to look down more than once and wipe my eyes.
I couldn’t believe the circumstances that brought me here.
All the years between Sab and I…
The song ended and the place erupted in cheers.
I clapped too.
“Thank you,” Nash’s voice said. “Tonight, we’re here to think about Mitchy. This is for him. From us. If you know the words, sing with us.”
Sab looked at me and nodded.
I blew him a kiss.
He stupidly reached out and caught it.
My heart raced.
I looked at Liv.
She was smiling ear to ear.
I handed her my empty cup.
“I need another one of these, please.”
Being on the side of the stage and having access to the backstage area was a whole different world.
Anything I wanted, I had.
There were drinks. Food. Everything possible.
A small crew worked to make sure the band’s sound was spot on.
It was amazing to see what happened while the band was playing.
Those drinks Liv had been feeding me were doing the trick.
I went from buzzed to drunk over the course of one Filthy Line song.
I then paused for a bottle of water, but the damage was done.
My body wasn’t meant for this kind of living. I wasn’t the type to get drunk more than one night in a row. But current events… and my current surroundings…
I drank the bottle of water, then got another real drink.
The band stood up and Nash ran a hand through his sweaty hair.
“Thank you all for being here tonight,” he said. He looked to his left. “Hey, Donny. If you hear me, turn the main lights on. I want to end this show with everyone able to see each other.”
A few seconds later, the main lights slowly turned on.
People kept cheering.
“Hey, quick,” Sab said. “If you have a drink, lift it up. Let’s say goodbye to Mitchy together.”
Hands and cups were in the air.
I even put my cup up in the air.
I probably looked like some drunk groupie dancing around the side of the stage, but I didn’t care.
As much as this was for the band and for Mitchy, it was for me too. For my mother. All the emotion they poured out on stage I felt go through me too.
The band remained standing as they sang their last song.
The crowed sang it back to them, and at one point, the crowd was louder than the band. They stopped playing and just let the crowd take over.
Sab took his guitar from around his neck and put it down on the barstool he had been sitting on. He put his hands together and nodded to the crowd.
As he walked off the stage, a group of fans all jumped and cheered for him. Screaming his name. Wanting him. A few had no problem letting Sab know they were willing to let him sleep with them.
Or as one lovingly put it… please come fuck me!
I felt jealous, but that subsided when Sab came to me instead of the fans.
He put his hands on my sides, at my ribs, and he held me there, staring down into my eyes.
“You were fucking amazing,” I said.
“Thanks, babe,” he said.
The crowd kept singing.
The band