on the way too comfortable couch with a balled-up tissue in her hand.
Jerry wore a nice suit and had a bunch of paperwork in front of him. It seemed my mother was on the up and up when it came to her life - and death - and her lawyer was just the same as her. The lawyer - Barry - told me he wanted to look into everything possible with the car and my mother. In other words, he wanted to know if there was a chance we could sue for damages. The accident scene painted a picture of its own. The result… my mother was probably going a little bit too fast and was either distracted or just not paying attention as she came around the bend. She swerved to miss an object in the road and sadly…
My heart hit hard inside my chest.
“I know what she wanted and I’m assuming it’s all right in front of you,” I said to Jerry.
“It is,” he said in a soft voice. “We also like to suggest to take a little bit of time to think. Once this is done, it cannot be undone.”
“Like death?” I asked.
“Bree,” Mia said.
“Sorry,” I said. “This is what she wants. I’m not going to be dragged around for months over this. I’m not going to try and sue people or get sued or whatever. This was…” I swallowed hard. “This was a tragic accident. She’s gone. I have to face that reality now. But this… this is what she wanted.”
“Right,” Jerry said. “If that’s the plan, we can discuss when and what kind of-”
“No services,” I said.
“Bree,” Mia said again.
“Stop it,” I snapped. “She told me she didn’t want anything big. She wanted to be cremated. I know everyone in town is going to ask questions. That’s fine. I do not want this to become some kind of… I don’t know. A parade. Okay? She wrote it down. She has it in her will. I’m doing what she wanted me to do. I can’t believe I’m standing here right now. Can you both understand that?”
“We do,” Jerry said. “Forgive me for hesitating. I just know how fresh the pain can feel. And how one moment we can feel sadness, then anger, then sadness again.”
“How would you know?” I asked.
“Bree, you’re acting out of line,” Mia said.
“It’s fine,” Jerry said. He slowly stood up. “I’ve been in this business for a long time. I’m sure you know that. I knew your mother. I’m terribly sorry for what happened to her. On a personal note, you probably remember my son Jeremy. He was your age. He passed when he was eighteen.”
“Jeremy,” I said. “I remember that.”
Jerry nodded. “He made a bad decision to drive while intoxicated and it cost him his life. I went through a lot of emotions during that time. So I again apologize for hesitating. Everything your mother wanted has been written down. You’re right. I will even push things forward for you, Bree. If this is the final decision, I’ll have everything in order for tomorrow.”
I nodded. “It’s the decision.”
“Okay,” Jerry said. “Let’s sit back down and finalize a few details.”
I slowly sat down and Mia grabbed my hand. She leaned toward me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t project at you.”
“I’m sorry too,” I whispered. “I know she meant a lot to a lot of people. But this is what she wanted. This is the last good thing I can do for her.”
“What we can do is set up a memorial for her,” Jerry said. “Something to think about. We can set up flowers, some pictures, let people come pay their respects in a little bit of a more informal kind of service. Perhaps in lieu of flowers, you can choose a charity and make a donation in her honor.”
“Yes,” I said. “I like that idea. I just want to move forward. I just need to…”
Mia squeezed my hand.
I lowered my head.
The pain rippled through me.
I wasn’t even sure what I wanted.
It wasn’t to forget. It wasn’t to move on.
It was just that life could change in the blink of an eye… without any warning at all…
“Wait, you kissed him?”
Mia announced that in line while we were getting coffee.
A handful of people looked at me and I felt heat rush to my cheeks.
We were on the other side of town, where it wasn’t so close knit.
That meant everyone looking at me didn’t know about my mother.
I knew the second I went back home, it