bones. My brother is unrecognizable. I placed photos on his scarred and un-beating chest. Pictures of us as children, during happier times.
How did I get here? How could I let this happen?
My knees wobble and Mackson swiftly lets my hand go and wraps his arm around my waist, holding me firmly.
The Kings stand beside him, strong and sad, an unshakeable silent bond between them all—except Della.
A woman from the hospital who helped care for Rex drops a rose into the earth and turns to me and says, “He’s at peace now.”
People keep saying that to me and it’s taking all my strength not to scratch their eyes out and tell them to shut their mouths.
He is nothingness now.
I twist my neck, trying to loosen my tense muscles. I’m not sure how much longer I can pretend to be okay while hiding this fury.
Nobody wails around me. Our fucking mother didn’t even turn up. I feel the anger throb and course through me. It’s as if a small fire is building, growing more uncontrollable with each moment I’m to stand here before my brother’s grave.
I sense Piper move closer to me on my left and I glance her way and my gaze gets caught on Corey, who’s staring into the deep, black hole in the ground.
Parkland crew stands around Corey. They’re Rexs’ men; men who followed him anywhere, who did so recklessly, who put their lives on the line for their fearless and now dead leader.
My fingers inch to wrap around Corey’s neck and squeeze. He should have reached out to me sooner about Rex’s addiction.
I badly want to blame Corey. I need to place blame somewhere. Someone has to pay. And as much as I know Corey tried his best, I wish he’d tried harder. I long to rewind time and wish Corey had thought more about the consequences of hiding such dangerous circumstances from me.
But it’s my family who is truly to blame.
I drag my eyes back to the coffin.
I’m not only angry with men who were once like family to me, and my own screwed up family, but with Rex. I’m mad at him most of all.
This is what it took Rex? Are you happy now? Your vengeance and pride finally killed you. But what about me? You had a sister. Why couldn’t you have thought of me? Why am I always left behind?
My strength depleted, tears prick my eyes and my body bows as a sob catapults up through my chest and claws its way out of my mouth.
Mack follows me gently to the ground and holds me tight to his body.
I shamelessly beg Mack, “Please don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me behind.”
Mack softly murmurs into my ear, “Never, Dove.” He jolts my body as if to say, feel me, I’m solid. “Hold on to me. I’ve got you. I’m never leaving you.”
Mack’s still holding me hours later, after everyone else has left and long after the last shovel of dirt was placed over Rex’s coffin, signaling this spot is now a grave.
His tombstone reads:
In Loving Memory Of
Rex Scavello
Tragically Taken From Us Too Soon.
Dearly Beloved Brother To Lana and
Cherished Friend To Many.
Tenderly I Treasure The Past,
With Memories That
Will Always Last.
The sun sets. It’s bright yellow hue dimming to a beautiful gold. Shadows appear and the cool night air wisps around my face and bare legs. I pull my black dress down as far as it will go, but darkness takes its inevitable turn, and I decide it’s time to say my final farewell and go home.
Epilogue
Lana
I’m up. I’m struggling. Nevertheless, I’m trying.
Sitting at the table across from Mack eating toast, I’m attempting to stomach food for the first time in three days. My throat’s been too raw from crying to eat before now.
Today I woke up and found my tears had dried up. Did I run out? That was my first thought, and then water hit my eyes and I realized no, they’re still there, but today I found I could control them a little bit better than yesterday.
I showered, dressed, and came downstairs on my own to a shocked room full of men.
Mack has been with me almost 24/7, but I’ve pushed him out of our room a few times to get information on Della and Dom.
After Della was taken to the hospital, they found the bones in her wrist were shattered, but her head was fine. She has scratches and bruises from some sort of impact. But Della says Rex pushed her out of