I gave you all of me, opened up and told you about my past, my nightmares, about my hopes and dreams for what’s to come. A future I wanted with you, and still that wasn’t good enough for you. Three goddamn weeks and you were in bed with another man. Weak, that’s all you are.”
Mack’s words sting, their truths the sharp points digging into my skin. I nod, agreeing with him. His eyes narrow and he closes his mouth tight, no doubt wondering what game I’m playing.
After my father had passed, I had a lot to learn and I did it all the hard way. I had to find out who I was without my father putting me down or slamming shut every open door in my path. I had to respect myself before anyone else could. And that took me learning hard lessons about myself, and a lot of stumbling on my part. Real friends, fake friends, bad boyfriends and good guys, who I just couldn’t fall for.
“I can’t imagine how it must’ve felt to walk in on that, Mack.” My voice trembles as I imagine the reverse, if I had to see him with another woman. That would have rocked me to the core, destroyed everything inside me.
Mack huffs, pain etched into his features. He places his right hand over his heart, his hand curling into a fist, grasping his shirt fiercely. “You have no fucking idea what it took for me to walk away. To not storm into your room, kill Corey and to show you the evidence of how badly you destroyed me that day.”
Five years of searching every thought and feeling for who I am, making mistakes and also making right decisions, didn’t lead me to become a walkover anymore. I grew into a woman, who learned what I do and don’t deserve in this life, and there isn’t much I don’t deserve. I’m a good person who had crappy parents and I’m proud of who I am today, who I’ve become. Those low moments and massive highs of finding myself didn’t lead me to stand here and take shit from Mackson King. In my eyes he’s still the man who left me when my father died, he’s still the man who didn’t have the decency to talk to me. He wants to talk about being destroyed, bring it on.
“Was your mobile phone broken?” Mack’s head jerks back at my question. “Did you lose your voice?” This time his eyes narrow as he sees where I’m going with this. “Were your fingers broken?” Mack’s stance changes as he readies himself to reply. “Were your legs broken?”
“I. Came. Back.” He says each word clearly.
“Three weeks, Mackson,” I point out bitterly.
Mack’s head jolts back and his body stiffens from my sudden burst of anger. In any other moment, I might care about my appearance, knowing my veins are close to popping and my eyes are wide. I must look insane, but my rage is in control now. I will not take all the blame for us falling apart. I had a part, yes, but I’m not completely to blame.
“You didn’t have the decency to contact me, to send me a quick text message to say, ‘Hang in there’ or ‘I’m still here, wait for me.’ You ignored my pain and loss so easily, and then you turned every good memory we had into a painful one. When you disappeared at the lowest point in my life, you turned my love for you into hurt and confusion.”
Mack steps back and his face pales.
“Yes, I made a stupid decision five years ago to try to get comfort from someone who deserved better than a false moment, and it turns out that mistake had graver consequences than I could have ever imagined. I’m sorry I hurt you, but don’t stand there and put all of this… all we lost… solely on me. That’s not fair.”
“It was three weeks, Lana. Do you know how small of a time frame that is in life? That’s nothing. You didn’t even try to hold onto what we had. That shows me it never held any weight with you, that I was easily replaceable. I want a woman with guts, loyalty, and a strong mind, who will fight through the hard times, not run away.”
I sigh. He doesn’t get it.
“I should’ve gotten back to you sooner,” Mack replies in a hoarse voice. “Your voicemails, they killed me. Fuck did they kill me. But I got