eardrums had clearly healed. They were taking notes and sketching the action with malicious glee.
“It was that woman who was telling me what to say to the magazines,” Walter said, pointing at Catriona. “She was paying me to tell lies. But I didn’t know she was creating the Zombies. I swear on my undead life.”
“I don’t know that man,” Catriona insisted as her fair-weather army began to back away.
Anastasia smiled. It was terrifying. Satan and Levi were wildly impressed. “Actually, you do,” she contradicted her, passing around documents with photographic proof of checks to Walter that had come from a South American bank account bearing Catriona’s name.
“Stupid and murderous,” I muttered, scanning the incriminating paper trail.
“Is this exhibit A?” Mother Nature asked with a giggle. “I’ve always wanted to say that. I sound so professional.”
“Sure,” Anastasia said, winking at Mother Nature. “Thank you for clarifying.”
“You are most welcome, beautiful child. If anyone has legal questions, I’m the go-to gal. I watch Law and Order.”
Satan rolled his eyes, but smartly kept his trap shut. He’d already been smacked by his mother twice.
Wilhem eyed the documents. His shoulders drooped in mortification. I didn’t feel sorry for him. A monster had to be created. He had given her the permission to create herself. Not only had he let his army get away from him, he’d apparently sold his balls, too.
“Forgery,” Catriona snarled. “Fake news. This proves nothing.”
Levi sighed dramatically and whispered something in Satan’s ear. Uncle Fucker was ecstatic that Levi was speaking to him, but whatever he told the Devil made our uncle furious. Looking down at the precious little girl in his arms, he waved his hand over her head. Glistening black magic floated around Sarah, and she ran her little hands through the silky mist. Whispering in her ear, Satan asked her a question.
She reached up and patted his cheek with adoration, then pointed at Catriona.
Catriona’s eyes grew huge and she backed away in shock. Clearly, she hadn’t recognized the child she’d sentenced to death until now.
“My little friend Sarah says you are the Vampyre who half-turned her and fated her to an existence worse than death,” Satan said in a tone that silenced everyone.
“Impossible,” Catriona said with a brittle and terrified laugh. “That child is not a Zombie.”
“But she was,” I said, moving to stand next to Satan and Sarah. “Up until a few hours ago, this beautiful little girl—who means the world to me, as you know—was a Zombie.”
“You lie,” Catriona snarled, glancing around wildly for someone to save her. She was shit out of luck.
“I don’t lie,” I said in an icy tone. “I have many bad qualities but lying isn’t one of them.”
“The only way to kill a Zombie is by beheading it,” Catriona insisted. “That child could not have been a Zombie. She is alive. Fake news.”
“A Zombie is merely a half-turned Vampyre,” I pointed out, pacing back and forth and making eye contact with the crowd like on Law and Order. “To eliminate a Zombie, you definitely could behead them… or…”
“You’re doing great! The dramatic pause is fabu,” Mother Nature whispered loudly. “Just like a real lawyer.”
I nodded at her and tried not to grin. Grinning wasn’t lawyerly. “Or you complete the turn.”
I heard a few gags and many of the Vamps in attendance paled to the point of looking translucent.
“You bit a Zombie?” one of Wilhem’s generals asked. “You bit a Zombie to save the Vampyre inside?”
“I did,” I replied. “It was fucking gross, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. It is inhumane to half-turn a human. It should be against the law. However, turning a child is against the law.”
“She’s five years old,” Catriona ground out as her former allies began to hiss and gnash their fangs. “It’s the word of a child over the word of the Princess of the South American Dominion.”
“Not my mate,” Wilhem said flatly. “Not my mate and never will be my mate.”
Before Catriona could have a meltdown at the new turn of events, justice was served in a way that I never would have imagined.
“Is it my turn?” Sarah asked Satan, placing her hands on either side of his face and kissing his nose.
Satan smiled. He was besotted with her. “Would you like it to be your turn?”
“Yes!”
“Then I decree that it is indeed your turn,” Satan told her.
Sarah turned and faced Catriona. Catriona hissed and grabbed a sword from one of her retreating men. She wielded the weapon with the ease of