of me, but the headlines were the worst ones I’d ever seen. “Off With His Head”, “Weak Prince Must Go”, “The Monarchy Is Dead—Let’s Finish The Job”, “Not Fit To Rule”.
“What the fuck?” I growled.
Ethan stood as still as a statue. It was terrifying. His fury vibrated throughout the room, making it difficult to think. Jax’s, Matthew’s and David’s fangs dropped, and they began grabbing more weapons even though they were already armed. As Ethan began to pace, I grabbed Dead Buzz and read the article. There was just enough truth to the stories to know that we had a mole in the Palace, or at least a mole at the party last night.
“Someone at the reception talked to the rags,” I said.
“Enlighten me,” Ethan ground out. “I need to walk off the urge to behead a whole lot of people.”
“Got it.” I scanned the article. “There’s a description of what all of us were wearing at the party, and it was noted that we’re investing in bottled blood.” I closed my eyes and wanted to decapitate myself. This was entirely my fault.
“They want me removed because of that? Bottled blood?” Ethan snapped, grabbing one of the rags from the table and reading it.
“Nope,” Martha chimed in. “Two of them say a petition of thousands want you to step down due to the Zombie problem, which is horse shit, since there ain’t no such thing as Zombies.”
“Pardon me,” I said, tossing the magazine aside and aiming my ire at the wall I’d neglected to blow out. Thankfully, my skill level was high, and I only destroyed the wall, leaving the rest of the compound intact.
“Does that mean mother humpin’ Zombies do exist?” Martha whispered from under a chair.
“It does,” I said.
“Holy shee-ot,” Jane grunted, grabbing a sword and a handful of throwing stars. “Guess I know what I’m doing today.”
“Yepperdoodle,” Martha agreed, crawling out from under the chair and filling her old lady handbag with daggers and handguns.
“What the heck do you think you’re doing?” I demanded, taking the throwing stars away from Jane. Her aim was hideous. She’d almost decapitated Martha last time she’d used them. While I often dreamed of decapitating them myself, it was never going to happen. Protecting them from each other’s stupidity was a full-time job. Thankfully, they were usually Lizard’s problem. Speaking of… “I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to think hard about your answer.”
“Is there a prize?” Jane inquired.
I zapped her. It had to be done.
She cackled and slapped out the fire on the back side of her sequined leggings. “Guess that means no.”
“Correct,” I replied. “Tell me about Lizard’s mission. Anything. Even something small that was said.”
Martha shrugged helplessly and my stomach dropped. “We don’t know nothing,” she said.
Jane nodded. “Our hot piece of man meat said Satan wanted him to check something out and he’d be back as soon as he could.”
“Okay,” I said, feeling like a lawyer during cross examination. “Did he say anything about where he was going? Is he on the Earthly plane or is he in Hell?”
“Not Hell,” Martha said. “But that’s a guess. He dropped us off here after Satan got his ass handed to him by Elle and she gave us some time off.”
If they knew anything, they had no clue they knew it. Martha and Jane were not the sharpest tools in the shed. “Got it. Doesn’t Lizard always bring you dummies a present when he has to be away?”
“He sure does!” Jane said. “Last time he brought us crotchless underpants and banjos.”
Her answer made me regret asking, but I had a hunch there was something amidst the disgusting.
“Awesome,” I said with a gag. “Did he talk about anything special this time?”
Crossing my fingers, I prayed to my Uncle God that it wasn’t something sexual.
Martha cold-cocked Jane. Jane punched her right back. Both of them were laughing like they were deranged. They were. After a two minute and forty-three second smackdown, the freaks adjusted their jogging bras and grinned at me.
“For being dumb, you’re pretty dang smart,” Jane said.
I decided not to be thankful for the backhanded compliment. I folded my arms across my chest and glared at them. “Spit it out.”
Martha did a little jig then cleared her throat. “I’m gonna say that Lizard is in Los Angeles just cause he said he was gonna bring us back Simon Cowell’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.”
Ethan growled. Matthew, Jax and David joined him. A few puzzle pieces might