honestly don’t think I would have framed you for that, but that was my dad in me again, telling me not to waste an opportunity. There’s not much I can give you to make you feel better about me, so let me just say this clearly. If you want to leave The Royal Court, you can. I won’t stop you. Nothing will ever come up about Monty, and you’ll never hear from me again.”
Alistair tapped the table a couple of times before speaking. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not?”
“No.” I started to smile, but Alistair held up a hand. “It isn’t because of you. I’m staying for Avery, and I’m staying for Cherri. I believe she’ll come around, and I want to be there to support her when she does. I promised Deon that I’d look out for her, and that’s what I intend to do.”
“This is going to sound particularly ridiculous coming from me, but just make sure you aren’t taking on too much all on your own. If not me, you do have the rest of The Royal Court. They all have your back, even Brayden. And, of course, if you can see it in your heart to forgive me, there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do to help you.”
A small snicker huffed out of Alistair’s nose. “It’s weird. The guy you’ve been this past couple of months”—he looked directly into my eyes—“is a good guy. That’s how bad it was with your dad, huh?”
“I don’t know exactly where to stand between blaming him and taking responsibility for my actions, but my dad is not a normal man.”
“I’m sorry about all of that, but I don’t think I can forgive you. Not just for Avery, but for what you did to Cherri.”
“Yeah,” I cut him off. “I don’t expect forgiveness for that. Not from any of you.”
“Although I can tell that version of you wasn’t really you. Even if we can never forgive you for that, I think you gotta try to find a way to forgive yourself.”
It was me who snickered then, taking a sip of my coffee with a smile. “Yeah, don’t hold your breath.”
11
Nikita
I woke up to the sound of my phone notifying me that I’d received a voicemail during the night. The necklace that Nathan had given me shifted as I sat up as if to let me know he had called me.
“Hey, gorgeous,” his gruff voice called out. I laid back down on my pillow and closed my eyes with the sound of him in my ear. “I know we had kind of a rough week, but I’d love to see you today if you’re not up to anything else. I don’t have many plans except to kick around the house and respond to some work emails. I guess I probably should eat something, but I don’t really want to. Anyway, just let me know either way. I love you so much. Bye.”
My heart ached in the wake of the message. Just hearing Nathan’s voice sent chills running over my body, and despite the fact that I was trying to put space between us, my inclination was to get up and go over to him. My arms were already throwing back the covers, and my legs were dragging me out of bed without my brain telling them to do so. I sighed, knowing that as long as I had access to Nathan, getting to a point where I could stay away from him was fairly unlikely. All I could do was repeat to myself that Nathan probably wasn’t good for me, but I was still getting dressed, still loading into my car, and still headed to his house as if my body were acting all on its own.
I flipped through the keys on my keyring from memory, found the one that belonged in Nathan’s door, and let myself in. There was quiet, relaxing music coming from his living room, so I stepped over the mess of his shoes, jacket, and backpack in the front entryway and made my way down the hall. When I turned the corner, Nathan looked up, and a bright smile crossed his face. He closed his laptop and stood up in an instant, coming over to me, lacing his arms around my waist, and dragging me into a kiss.
There wasn’t a shred of me that was powerful enough to stop him.
With no hesitation, my arms slid around his bare chest and laced around his neck so I could lean even