than she was a year ago, if that’s even possible. Her hand is in her hair twirling a lock around her finger. In this moment with no one looking, she’s vulnerable. I want to wrap her in my arms and shield her from the truth. Instead, I’ll be the one to shatter her heart in a thousand pieces.
She searches the sidewalk for me and eventually we lock eyes. She smoothes down her little black dress, then pulls out her phone. A moment later a text arrives.
Haley: I see that look in your eyes from here. Don’t think you’re getting any tonight.
I rub my fingers over the keys but don’t respond. She’s throwing out the jokes, but I know now that she was never really joking. That her pranks were her way of protecting herself and that’s what she’s doing now. Finally she crosses.
“Hi.” I shove my hands in my pockets. If I don’t, I’ll end up touching her.
“Big plans tonight?” she asks.
I offer her my arm. “You bet. Let’s go.” She doesn’t take it but chooses to walk beside me until we reach my car.
I know exactly where to go. It’s not the same pool hall but it’s pool. Something that connects us. We don’t say much on the short drive down the strip. Haley watches the sights from the window and plays with the seat.
“Since when do you get nervous?”
She gives me a weak smile. “Shit happens.”
I nod, not wanting to press her, and keep driving until we arrive. I open her door. She sneaks a glance at me, then crosses the street to the pool hall, leaving me to follow her. Conversation is stilted. I ask a question. She answers. Then it fizzles out and dies. She racks the balls up and breaks. We play, ball after ball, but she seems off. Finally in the middle of the second game, she places her stick against the wall.
“I guess this wasn’t a good idea. You should probably take me home.”
I see the layer of hurt in her eyes. Shit. I guess this was a bad idea. Too similar. I take her hand. “Give me another chance. We’ll go someplace quiet.”
Relief crosses her face and the tension leaves her body. “Please?”
I purchase two coffees at a Jiffy Mart, and we walk across the street to the beach. The one place in her life now she likes to be. This time we sit on a bench on the boardwalk. Darkness hides the water but the comforting crash of the waves can be heard. She doesn’t even attempt small talk, so I share a little bit.
“I’ve been out west this past year living with my dad’s roommate from college.”
“Glad you could walk away so easily.” Her words hint at bitterness.
I restrain from touching her. “It wasn’t easy.” Then I lean forward, overwhelmed with guilt. The sick feeling knots in the pit of my stomach and grows tighter with each passing second. It took weeks for this to fade away, but now it’s back, full force. Why did I think I could follow through with this?
“Is that where you met Katie?”
I sit straighter. “How do you know her name?”
Haley shrugs. “She applied for a job at the Seaside Inn.”
I laugh. “I should’ve known.”
“What?” Haley asks, her voice sharp and suspicious.
“Katie is my dad’s roommate’s daughter. She’s not my girlfriend, but when she asked about you yesterday and I wouldn’t tell her anything, she took matters into her own hands.”
“You didn’t tell her about us, about me?” Her eyes question, flashing hope.
I can’t help it. I reach out and touch her leg. “Hales, I would never do that. I haven’t talked to anyone.”
She stiffens at my touch, and her face saddens, but she seems relieved. “I haven’t either.”
We sit in comfortable silence, lost in our thoughts. I feel lost in a maze with the answers right nearby, with Haley right there, but I can’t find her. I can’t figure out what to say to make the hurt go away or to break my news to her gently.
“Is it so wrong?” she whispers. I almost don’t hear her because the breeze whisks her words away.
I lean closer and graze my thumb across the top of her hand. She’s close enough that I can smell her body lotion. Strawberries and cream. It’s intoxicating. “What?”
“That we both ran away.”
I trace her skin ever so gently. “Probably.”
She sways close to me. Her mouth parts and her eyes gloss over. I lean close too. Our lips hover right next