anyone about it. I can’t admit something so terrible to people that respect me, because I’d lose them. I nudge her shoulder. “You’re too smart. But some things are best left in the past.”
She tags me. “You’re it!” Then she takes off.
“Hey, no fair!” I nestle my cocoa in the sand and take off after her. We play tag and get dangerously close to the water sliding up onto the beach.
I tease her by rolling up my jeans and going in. She takes a step in and squeals. “It’s freezing!”
“What’d you expect?” I laugh at her. “We’re not in the Bahamas.”
She runs and gives me a hug, jumping up and wrapping her legs around me.
“Whoa, what’s that all about?” I ask, putting her down. I tuck her hair behind her ears. She’s such a bright spot in my life, and for that I’ll be forever grateful.
“Thanks for talking my dad into letting me come.” She gazes out over the ocean and the endless skyline.
The dreams dance in her eyes. I remember a time when I was in that stage, brimming with enthusiasm for life and what the future held. And I swear I’ll do anything so Katie never experiences what we went through and what we lost.
She turns, her eyes questioning. “What?” But then she rubs her arms. “You’re right. It’s cold here. I’m going to run to the car and grab a sweatshirt. I might even go buy a beach necklace to be official. I’ll meet you at the car?”
I nod. Katie’s good about that. She can pester me for answers but she gives me space too. I sit and ignore the water creeping up the shoreline toward my feet. I close my eyes and remember the frozen expression on Haley’s face when she saw me. Like she saw a ghost. I wince. Then the pain that shuddered through her body. I sent her running into the arms of her boyfriend. Just that word grips my heart. She moved on. She found someone else. I wish she’d tell me how to do that so I could find peace too.
I sense her presence before I see her. I don’t dare turn around or move. If I do, she might take off. I stay where I am and take deep breaths. Somehow I have to find the courage to follow through with this.
“Hi, Haley.”
She sighs. “I guess some things don’t change. You were one person I could never sneak up on.”
The corners of my lips tug into a smile. One of the reasons I fell for Haley in elementary school was her pranks. She’d pull jokes on her teachers and on the meanest kids in school without blinking an eye. I knew right then she was the girl for me. It was her love for life. My throat tightens. I can’t go back in time. It’s too hard. Katie was right. I’ve been running.
She plops next to me but feels miles away. The silence doesn’t feel awkward. It never was uncomfortable between us.
“Is he good to you?” I grimace against the memories of her pressing up against him.
“His name is Tate, and you know that. He graduated with Noah.”
That’s all she offers me—the basics I already knew. Not that I expected a detailed account of their relationship. “Does he make you happy?”
“Yes, he does.” She pauses as if to choose her words carefully. “He’s there for me.”
I cringe. Unlike me. “Listen, about that.”
“No, Seth.” Her face pales. “It’s too late. As much as I want answers, I don’t want to hear them now or right here.”
“That’s why I came back.”
“I thought it was for your new girl to meet the fam,” she shoots out.
A trace of jealousy tinges her words, and I don’t correct her, but I feel something I haven’t felt in a while. Something called hope. “It’s not what you think.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Where do we go from here?” I ask, desperate to get this awkwardness over.
The breeze tosses her hair around and her lips shiver. Her brown hair is longer and trails down her back, teasing me to touch it. Drops of ketchup stain her work shirt, dangerously close to her chest, and she smells like a restaurant. I so want to kiss her and hold her close to me. Then I’d know her true feelings. I’d know within seconds if she still loved me. I move closer.
She senses my invasion of her space. Slowly, she turns, and I hold back a gasp at the pain in her eyes. Deep-set pain