here.
Jumping out of my seat I pick up my shoes and storm off away from him, “Kate!” he shouts unnecessarily loudly after me; turning on my heel I am inches away from him within two strides “Don’t you dare make a scene!” I warn him through clenched teeth, “Shut the hell up and let’s go somewhere less crowded” I turn and stalk away with him following me, hastily trying to keep up.
I head down to the beach, it crossed my mind to go back to my room for complete privacy, but the last thing I want is him knowing which room I’m in, so the far end of the beach will have to do.
We walk in silence for a good ten minutes. It’s sadly impossible to stomp effectively on soft sand, so I have to settle for a medium paced walk, his lack of talking tells me it’s still putting across my anger towards him.
I come to a standstill once we are well away from any would be eaves droppers and turn to look at him still glowering, but waiting for him to speak first.
“You look amazing” he starts, the comment turns my stomach as he looks me up and down.
“What do you want Jake?” I snap back. I thought if I had seen him again I would be flooded with feelings of love, but right now I feel nothing but contempt for this man.
“Kate, please” he says softly.
“Please nothing!” I shout back, “You left me. Youcheatedon me. You threw away our life together and now you turn up to ruin my holiday too!?What – do - you – want - Jake?” I say the last part slowly, emphasising each word in the hope to get my yet unanswered question through his thick skull.
All the anger from the last two months erupts out of me, I would love to slap that sorry looking expression off his face; How dare he do this to me!
“I’m sorry ok?” he says pitifully, “I’m sorry for all of it, I was stupid to do that to you, I know that now, I truly am so sorry Kate, you have to believe me” he looks so pathetic but it just makes me hate him all the more.
“So what?” I fire back at him, “who cares if your sorry? It still doesn’t explain why you’re here. What, this couldn’t have waited till I got back?” I know I’m hurting him, throwing his apology back in his face, but he deserves everything he gets.
“You were always telling me I should be more romantic, so….” He trails off deflated, for a second I almost feel sorry for him.
“Yes I was” I admit, “when we were together! It’s beentwo months Jake! Two months that you were shacked up with your mistress, let alone how long it was going on before then. I’ve come away, I’ve moved on, frankly it’s too little too late.” My words have reduced in volume but not in venom.
“But….” He starts.
“No! Just no Jake,you destroyed our relationship, not me. It’s too late to come crawling back, it’s far beyond being fixed now.” With that I turn and walk away, leaving him standing dumbfounded in the sand.
Back in my room I’m pacing up and down, so many questions are whizzing round my head, I can’t think straight. How did he even know I was here? He must have spoken to Caz, or maybe Phil told him?
God I want to speak to Caz she will know what to do with him; but more than that, I want to be with Carlos, he could just wrap me up in his strong arms and hide me away from reality.
Sinking onto the bed I choke out a sob and once the gates have opened I cry uncontrollably, howling out at various intervals until my body is shaking and I lie there broken and weeping.
I was so sure all my sadness had turned to anger by now, but one outburst and I’m right back where I started. I don’t want to keep feeling like this, but I’m never going to be over him am I? I can run away from it as much as I like, but in the end he’ll find me and reduce me to this every time.
My tears start over anew at my private revelation. Right now it really feels like this will last forever, I cannot imagine a time when I will stop feeling this way. Attempting to stifle the last few cries and vaguely compose myself,