to be found, though.
He’s haunted my dreams to the point that I think I must be deluding myself into thinking he’s still alive. He must have burned in the fire just like everyone else. That’s why we haven’t found him.
But if that’s true, if he’s really dead, then that means Liesel is too. If she were alive and her father was dead, she would have come back. She would have been free.
He has to be alive. I can’t handle him not being alive. I can’t face the reality that Liesel is probably dead, and that’s why I haven’t found her either.
Either way, I won’t stop searching until I have definite proof. I can’t stop searching, not if there is a chance she’s alive.
“Go for a run with me?” Zeke asks as he steps foot on the deck.
I nod, knowing it’s better to answer without words. Zeke’s hearing still hasn’t fully recovered, although he is healing. Or he’s getting better at reading lips.
Kai takes over watching the kids while Zeke and I quickly stretch and then start running down the beach. Every morning I run with Zeke. Every evening I run with Enzo. Every afternoon I swim with Kai. And every evening after I put the kids to bed, I drink with Siren. It’s become a bit of a routine. Beckett is the only one who doesn’t have a specific task in taking care of me and ensuring I don’t have a moment to think about Liesel. His focus is more on security, but he tends to fill in whenever someone needs a break.
Running with Zeke on the beach is just a normal morning here. Occasionally, I take a small team to go follow a lead when we think we’ve found Liesel’s father, but otherwise, we are here, living a dream life on our own private island.
“Did you follow that lead in India?” I ask as we jog, our bare feet hitting the sand with each step.
“Yes, it was a dead end.”
I sigh. “Beckett thought he had something in Chile that he wanted to follow up on. Hopefully, that will lead to more clues.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
This can’t be good. “Sure. You’ve upended your whole life for me. I think you have the right to be honest with me.”
He stops running.
I take a couple more steps before I stop too. This really can’t be good.
He puts his hands on his head like he’s struggling to breathe, but really he’s struggling to get his words out. “It’s been over a year. We have everyone searching for any sign of them. His organization has gone silent. His money is tied up in banks, motionless. Every clue leads to him being dead.”
I know he’s right, but I can’t accept it.
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t stop looking either. I’d never stop looking for Siren. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, you should have. Don’t be afraid to speak what’s on your mind. I need to hear what you all are thinking. It’s not just me I have to worry about. I have to think about the kids too.”
“Race you back?”
I grin, taking off, knowing I’m much faster than him. He’s almost twice my size. He can beat me at lifting weights, but not this.
It feels good to run this fast. It makes me feel alive when I mostly feel lost, dead, empty. I don’t know what I’d do if it weren’t for everyone ensuring I eat, drink, and shower every day. If they didn’t plan every second of my day, I’m pretty sure I’d be homeless and wasted away to nothing. It’s these little moments that keep me living.
I beat Zeke back to the house easily when I spot Siren walking down the steps leading to the beach.
“Looking for your husband? He’ll be back in another five minutes. You know his slow ass can’t keep up with me.”
She smiles. “Actually, I was looking for you.”
“Wanting to get a drink early? Or are you swapping your time for Kai’s?”
She laughs. “I guess we have established a bit of a babysitting routine, but no. Actually, we found a clue. We think we found Liesel’s father.”
My eyes go wide. Usually, when anyone brings me any evidence, they try to say it in the most subdued, pessimistic way as to not get my hopes up.
“Where is he? What do we know?” I ask too excitedly. I know no one likes talking to me about Liesel’s father.