Even after the abuse and neglect Layla had suffered as a kid, she was still there at the end for her mother. “You know that’s way more than she would have done for you,” I commented.
She nodded. “I knew that. But I wasn’t her. I didn’t allow myself to think that she was sorry for what she’d done, but she was the woman who had given me life, so it didn’t feel right to just abandon her when she was dying. I was sad when she passed, but I didn’t grieve for her. I think I was mourning the mother I wish I could have had. In some ways, it was probably a good thing for me to see that she wasn’t scary to me anymore. She was just a very flawed person with a disease that she couldn’t conquer. Seeing her like that kind of put everything into perspective for me. It probably helped me heal any of the wounds that hadn’t completely closed.”
Honestly, knowing Layla, if she hadn’t been there, it probably would have eaten her up. She was the type of person who couldn’t hear a cry for help and not answer it, even if it had come from the mother who had made her life miserable.
I moved on to another topic, since she didn’t seem like she had any more to say about the last one. “So tell me more about this guy you met that summer.”
“A complete stranger,” she said flatly. “I never saw him again. I think I wanted . . . something, but I didn’t need . . . that. Maybe I thought if I could just get close to someone, I’d feel better. I’d feel something. But I think that incident did me a lot more harm than good.”
“So you haven’t been with anyone since you were eighteen?” I asked curiously.
“Nope. I’ve never found anyone that I wanted to try it with again. What about you?” she asked.
“Definitely more than once,” I confided. “I didn’t feel great about one-nighters, but a guy has to get laid occasionally.”
She laughed. “I’m definitely not going to judge you,” she said. “So where do we go from here, Owen? I don’t think it’s possible to keep pretending like I’m with you because of some favor. I want us to be honest with each other. I’m pretty much done pretending that I just want to be your friend, too. Honestly, I had a pretty big crush on you during our senior year, too.”
My heart sped up. This was a discussion that was long overdue. “I can’t do it, either. Let’s make it real, Layla. If we’re really putting the truth on the table, I didn’t just ask you to help me because I wanted to learn how to date or to check things off my list. I think I was trying to figure out a way to get close to you without scaring you off.”
“I want that, too,” she said with a sigh. “I know I’ve been sending you some mixed signals, but I think I’m just really scared.”
Christ! I hated hearing apprehension in her tone, but I knew she was being brutally honest.
I didn’t want her to be afraid of anything, especially me.
“We’ll just take it slow and see how it goes,” I said, trying to calm her fears.
She slowly turned in my arms until she was straddling me. “Exactly how slow are you planning?”
“Do you really expect me to think rationally when you’re in this position?” I asked in a strangled voice. “Layla, you’re too damn vulnerable right now. You just spilled your guts and told me everything. I’m not sure you’re ready for me to drag you off to bed like a damn caveman.”
I wanted her so desperately that I nearly did just that.
But I couldn’t.
I wanted more than just her body.
Her eyes widened. “Is there a caveman inside you somewhere? That’s kind of a hot visualization.”
“Woman, if you don’t stop grinding down on my cock, you’re going to be introduced to that caveman way sooner than you want to be,” I warned, my patience hanging on a very thin thread.
She stared down at me with a wanton look in her gorgeous eyes. “Owen, I told you that I’m done pretending. Yeah, I don’t really have experience seducing a man, but I’m ready to give it my best shot. I’m laying myself bare to you, which I should have done a long time ago. You’ve never given me any reason to think you’d take