me lately.
He was busy, but there was something else going on. I just wasn’t sure why he’d been backing away from me, even before he left for college.
“I’m not avoiding you, Layla. Not really. I just . . .” Owen stopped talking abruptly, like he’d thought better of saying what he’d planned to say.
“It’s okay,” I said hastily. It wasn’t like he owed me an explanation. We were friends, not intimate boyfriend and girlfriend. As good friends, we’d never had expectations, and it wasn’t fair for me to want more than he wanted to give. “We’re both busy. I get it. There’s so much going on right now with senior activities, graduation, and all that stuff.”
Problem was, somewhere in the middle of our senior year, I’d realized that my feelings for Owen had shifted.
I’d started to want more than just friendship, even though I’d known that could never happen.
“I value every minute we spend together, Layla. If you don’t believe anything else, believe that,” he insisted. “You’ve always been there for me.”
“You’ve been there for me, too,” I said, and I meant it. I didn’t share everything with Owen, because some things were just too embarrassing to tell, but he knew more about me than any other person on earth. There had never been a time when I really needed him that Owen hadn’t been there to listen and help.
“Growing up sucks,” he answered. “I thought I really wanted to be an adult, but leaving home and everybody I care about is so damn hard.”
“And everyone I care about is leaving me,” I commiserated. “I get it.”
“Is everything okay with your mom right now?” Owen asked carefully.
I shrugged, even though he couldn’t really see me. “As good as it’s ever going to be,” I said with a lightness I didn’t feel. “I’ll be fine.”
I did a good job of hiding my situation at home, but I knew that Owen and Andie had always suspected things weren’t good between my mother and me.
They have no idea what my life is really like . . .
“You always say that, and I don’t think you’re fine,” Owen said, his tone concerned. “Is she even home right now?”
Thankfully, I hadn’t seen my parent in over a week, which was why I was comfortable hanging out in the park. But she’d come back. She always did, eventually.
“She’s gone,” I admitted. “But I don’t mind.”
Having my mother out of the house was actually a relief for me. I didn’t have to walk on eggshells, but I was always dreading the day that she’d return.
“You do mind, Layla,” Owen argued. “Hell, you never see your father, so she’s all you have.”
“At least he pays his child support,” I said brightly. “He’s not a total deadbeat.”
“I call bullshit. You need more than just a check,” Owen grumbled. “When’s the last time you saw him? A couple of years ago for dinner or something? You’ve basically raised yourself. Neither of your parents are ever around. I know they aren’t, so don’t try to tell me you’re fine.”
Actually, I hadn’t seen my father since he’d walked out the door four years ago, but what girl wanted to broadcast the fact that her father hated her?
“I’m almost an adult now, Owen. My father travels the world for a living, so it’s not his fault that he’s never back in the States.” I used that excuse a lot.
My father had left my mother right before I’d started high school, and he’d basically left me, too. I’d had to transfer from my private school to the public-school system. The only good thing that had happened during that time was meeting Owen and Andie, once I’d gotten out of the stuffy private school I’d been attending.
“If anything was wrong, you’d tell me, right?” Owen asked suspiciously.
I sighed. It wasn’t the first time Owen had broached the topic of my home life, and I didn’t want to discuss my mother now any more than I’d wanted to talk about her all the other times he’d asked.
Owen would never be able to relate to what it had been like growing up for me. The Sinclairs might be dirt poor, but they were tight, supportive, and loving.
“There’s nothing to talk about, really,” I assured him. “I’m all grown up now, and I’m doing okay.”
I saw Owen get to his feet, so I rose from my swing, too.
“I better get home,” Owen grumbled. “I have a ton of stuff to do for my college entrance.”
I fell into step