even belong in my own family anymore,” he shared. “I mean, I’ve always been tight with my siblings, but I was never really there for any of them. While they were struggling with relationships, problems, and handling this inheritance, I basically ignored the money. When we all get together, sometimes they talk about stuff that means nothing to me. I wasn’t around to share any of those experiences with them. Good or bad.”
For a guy who valued family, it had to be hard to realize how much he’d missed. But it wasn’t his fault. “You’ll catch up with everything that happened eventually,” I assured him gently. “You’ve lived a separate life in another state, but everything will fall into place.”
“It’s not just that,” he rumbled. “Jesus, Layla, I don’t even know how to dance. I wasn’t a partier in college. I didn’t date, either. I’ve never been drunk off my ass, and I didn’t do anything just because I wanted to do it. I was grinding every minute of the day just to keep up with my studies, and to keep eating. I didn’t have time for anything frivolous or nonessential. Hell, I barely slept.”
Owen really hadn’t dated anyone? Ever?
I had no idea why that was so hard to believe when I hadn’t done much dating myself. “Do you want to do all those things you put on that list?”
“Yes, and no,” he answered thoughtfully. “I could do without the getting-drunk-off-my-ass part. It usually doesn’t turn out all that well the morning after, but I would like to catch up with my family, and do things a normal guy my age would be doing now. If you’re serious about being willing to do anything to make up for your misguided assumptions about me, there is something you could do for me.”
“All you have to do is ask,” I said emphatically.
“If I’m going to date like a normal guy, I need practice. I’d like to practice with you. Be my love interest, Layla. Once I get comfortable with that kind of relationship, I’d really like to be friends again.”
I opened my mouth to tell him I absolutely could not be his temporary girlfriend test mannequin, and then closed it again.
I did owe him for all the horrible things I’d said, and for the way I’d treated him. Was he really asking me for all that much in return?
He’d so readily forgiven me that maybe I needed to figure out what he wanted before I turned him down flat.
“What exactly does this arrangement require?” I asked carefully.
“Dating. Romance. Fun. New experiences,” he explained. “Helping me find my way around this damn city again, and figuring out what I want to do when I’m not working. You said you felt this way when you got out of school, so you probably know what I need, right?”
“I’m . . .” I coughed hard before I continued. “To be completely honest, I’m not exactly an experienced dater, either, Owen, so I’m not sure how much I can help you with that. By the time I was finished with school, my mother was sick with liver disease. She died eight months ago. I was pretty much in the same position as you were.”
And still am . . .
“Fine,” he said agreeably. “Then we’ll learn together. I’d actually feel more comfortable with somebody who wasn’t all that experienced. Less chance of me feeling like an idiot if I do something wrong.” He hesitated before he added, “I’m sorry about your mother, Layla. I didn’t know.”
Nobody knew because I hadn’t talked much about my mother’s illness, or her death. The only person at her funeral had been me. The woman hadn’t exactly inspired love or warmth of any kind while she’d been alive.
“Thanks,” I said softly. “I just wanted you to understand that my life has pretty much sucked so far, too, except for having a career I love, and my volunteer work at the shelter.”
“Then let’s learn all this stuff together,” he suggested.
“You can’t just force romance, Owen,” I said, exasperated.
“It wouldn’t be forced for me. I care about you, Layla. Always have.”
The big problem was, it wouldn’t be a complete facade for me, either. I’d cared about Owen, even after he’d presumably burned me. Maybe I’d had to get a lot of information secondhand from Andie, but I’d paid attention when she’d talked about Owen and how things were going for him in med school and his residency.
All these years, I’d probably been more hurt than