Patrick.’ Hanna doesn’t look surprised – she looks more relieved than anything. ‘I’ve realized that it’s over for me, even if it isn’t for him,’ Stephanie says. ‘I don’t trust him any more. He cheated on Lindsey. The whole world knows it. And all this about the accident – it’s damaged us, Hanna, more than anyone knows.’
‘I understand completely,’ Hanna says. ‘I think you’re doing the right thing. When trust is gone—’
Stephanie clarifies, ‘I don’t believe he killed Lindsey on purpose – the idea is ridiculous. I’m not afraid of him, Hanna, but – I don’t love him any more.’ She adds, ‘I resent him too much for putting me through all this, even though it’s not entirely his fault.’
‘He picked the wrong woman to have an affair with,’ Hanna acknowledges.
‘He certainly did. And now we’re all paying the price,’ Stephanie says bitterly. ‘I’m going to make an appointment with a divorce attorney on Monday. I have to figure everything out before I tell him.’
‘When are you going to tell him?’ Hanna asks, her voice worried.
Stephanie takes a deep breath. ‘As soon as possible. After I see the attorney, I guess. I just need this to be over.’
‘Like I said, I think you’re doing the right thing,’ Hanna says firmly. ‘You know I’m here for you, right?’
Stephanie smiles sadly at her. ‘I know. And I appreciate it. I don’t really have anyone else I can talk to. This is so hard.’ She puts her hands up against her face. ‘I’m worried about Patrick,’ Stephanie says, ‘about how he’ll take it.’
‘He might see it as a betrayal,’ Hanna says uneasily.
‘Maybe. And he’s already really depressed. It’s all been so horrible, Hanna.’ She bites her lip so that she won’t cry. She pauses and grabs a tissue from her diaper bag. ‘It was so awful when he was arrested. He won’t even talk about it.’ She pauses to gain control of herself. ‘I thought that when the police let him go, he would get past it. But Niall dumped him. He doesn’t have his business, and how is he supposed to start over? His reputation has been destroyed, even though they dropped the charges.’ She knows how bleak she must look. ‘It’s so unfair. And when I tell him I’m going to leave him—’
Hanna looks back at her helplessly and says, ‘Stephanie, God, I don’t know what to say.’
Stephanie continues, ‘He’s not himself.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘He blames himself for everything that’s happened. He’s moody, depressed, he says things.’
‘What things?’ Hanna says, leaning forward anxiously.
‘He says we’d be better off without him.’ She turns worried eyes on Hanna. ‘I’m afraid that if I leave him he might do something. Something drastic, harm himself.’
Hanna says urgently, ‘Forget about him. I’m worried about you. Stephanie, you should leave him. Take the twins and move out. Now.’
Should she tell Hanna about the gun? No, that would be too much. She shakes her head. ‘I’m going to see the divorce attorney first.’
‘That’s good.’
‘That might make things clearer,’ Stephanie agrees.
‘But what if he – what if he hurts you, and the twins?’ Hanna says, clearly worried.
Stephanie shakes her head. ‘He would never do anything to hurt me or the twins, I know that.’ She adds, ‘But if I tell him I’m leaving him, he’ll feel utterly abandoned. I feel so guilty. I – I’m not sure I can do it.’
‘You have nothing to feel guilty about, Stephanie,’ Hanna says strongly. ‘You have to do what’s right for you and the girls.’
Stephanie looks back at her only friend. Hanna thinks her husband is a murderer. Hanna is right. She probably thinks that if her husband were to kill himself, it would be the best thing for all concerned. She’s right about that too.
Hanna looks back at her anxiously. ‘Seriously, Stephanie, I think you have to leave him, if that’s what you want, regardless of how depressed he might be, or how he might take it. Think of yourself for a change. Think of your babies.’ She glances anxiously at the twins on their playmats. ‘What if he’s dangerous?’
Stephanie shakes her head again. ‘He’s not. We’ll be fine. He loves me and the kids. He won’t do anything to us. It’s him I’m worried about.’
Patrick slumps at the kitchen table while Stephanie is at Hanna’s with the twins. He drinks cup after cup of coffee, thinking. He’s told Stephanie that he had an extended affair with Erica, that he didn’t love her, that what happened to Lindsey was an accident.