city like we used to? It’s going to be a gorgeous day. We can at least all get some fresh air and a change of scenery.’
She tilts her head at him, considering it. He can tell she’s torn: it sounds lovely, but she’s likely thinking of the work involved – organizing the picnic, making the food – and losing the naptime because the twins will probably sleep in the car on the drive back.
‘I’ll do everything,’ he coaxes. ‘I’ll pop into the deli and get everything ready-made.’ He smiles at her. ‘Potato salad. Those Italian sandwiches you like. That fizzy lemon drink, and some cookies. We’ll drive up to that spot in the mountains we used to go to – where we used to make out.’ He smiles at her, and earns a brief, weary smile in return. ‘We can relax a bit. And you can sleep in the car on the way back.’ Her face lightens a little, and she looks more like herself, he thinks, than at any time since Erica slithered into their lives.
‘That sounds tempting,’ she agrees. ‘Okay. I’ll pack a bag for the twins while you go to the deli.’
‘Great.’ He kisses her on the lips and grabs the car keys, humming as he goes.
Stephanie leans back in the passenger seat, lulled into a sense of ease as they leave the river behind and climb the road into the Catskills. With the deepening forest all around, she feels a familiar peace come over her. The sun is glorious. The twins are babbling happily in the backseat and Patrick, driving beside her, looks over at her and smiles. He reaches out his right hand and places it on top of hers. In a sudden burst of joy, she remembers how happy they are – just before memories of what they’re facing flood back. Light and dark. Can you have one without the other? Looking at Patrick’s profile, the sunlight flooding the car, the cooing of her daughters behind her – she knows what happiness is. With a jagged tug of fear, she also knows that a dark shadow has been cast over their lives. She turns away from Patrick and looks out the window. She watches the landscape pass by, peering into the forest, thinking about all the fairy tales she looks forward to reading to the twins, the ones she loved so much as a child – ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, ‘Hansel and Gretel’, ‘Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs’.
‘Almost there,’ Patrick says, turning off the highway and onto a rutted road to the secluded spot they had discovered a couple of years ago and thought of as their own. They haven’t been here since the twins were born, Stephanie reflects. Patrick pulls up and turns off the car. They’re all alone up here; it’s so quiet she can hear the ticking of the cooling engine. They get out of the car. Patrick comes close to her and they stand together looking down. From here the view is magnificent. Then Stephanie turns away and sets about laying the blankets on the grass while Patrick gets the infant seats out of the car.
Soon they each have a baby on their lap and they’re enjoying their meal, drawing in lungfuls of fresh air. Their problems seem further away here, Stephanie thinks, as she bites into her sandwich and smiles down at Jackie, who is reaching for her hair. They’re far away from everything. If only they could stay here, she thinks fancifully, where Erica could never find them.
‘Do you want to go for a walk in the woods?’ Patrick asks after they’ve eaten. ‘I brought the baby carriers.’
Stephanie, drowsy now after lunch, thinks about it and shakes her head. ‘I’d rather just sit here.’
‘Whatever you want,’ Patrick agrees. ‘This is your day.’ He leans over and kisses her on the mouth, and she kisses him back, hungrily, the way she used to.
After a couple of lazy, almost blissful hours, they pack their things and think about returning home. Stephanie notices that a cloud has passed across Patrick’s mood. He seems to have become withdrawn, tense. Perhaps he’s thinking about what’s ahead. Their little escape is over. She imagines they’re both worried about the same thing as they load the car. When will they hear from Erica again? What happens next? She appraises him as they finish securing the babies in the back. ‘You look really tired,’ she says. ‘Maybe I should drive.’
He shakes his head. ‘No, I’m