Matfei of Ivan.
"To you it seems only a few months," said Ivan, "but I assure you that in my land we know of a thousand years of history that passed while she slept. I think that your boyars couldn't find the princess Katerina because the Widow did not merely hide her in the forest, but hid her in the centuries as well."
"It makes no sense to me."
"Such are the ways of witches," said Ivan.
"I know nothing of the ways of witches," said King Matfei, "except they are of Satan and must be resisted with all our power."
"I am even more ignorant of them than you are," said Ivan, "for up till the day I fought the bear and freed your daughter, I did not believe that they existed."
"Well, that was stupid of you," said King Matfei.
"Yes," said Ivan. "I see that now."
"You weren't joking, then, when you said you were simple in the head."
"There are many things I don't understand," said Ivan. "I hope that you'll give me time to learn."
"Are you so clumsy that no one gave you any work to do?" asked the king. "Look at your arms and shoulders - I don't know if you could lift a basket of flowers."
"I lifted the stone that blinded the bear," said Ivan, getting a little annoyed.
Katerina looked concerned, "My father is teasing you," she said.
Ways of showing humor must have changed a lot over the centuries, then. It sounded to Ivan like he was being insulting.
"In my land," said Ivan, "I'm regarded as a..." He had no idea how to say athlete in Old Church Slavonic. It wasn't a concept likely to be useful in the liturgy or histories. "As a good runner."
The king's face went white. "They say this to your face? That you run?"
Ivan had to think frantically to guess at what he had said wrong. Then it dawned on him. "Not running from battle," he said. "Running races. Two men side by side, then they run and run and see who arrives first."
"We have slaves carry our messages," said the king.
"Then I suppose no one but the slaves will run races with me," Ivan said, chuckling. But he found himself chuckling alone. So much for humorous banter. Apparently the jokes would only go one way around here.
"I'll bet you're not Christian, either," said the king.
"No, sir," said Ivan. Was there any defect that he lacked? Whether he could father children had not yet been tested.
"He's a Jew," said Katerina. Trust the princess to come up with another flaw - though to her credit her lip didn't curl and her tone didn't curdle when she said it.
"Never mind," said King Matfei loudly. "Father Lukas will teach you of Christ and you can be baptized in plenty of time to marry my daughter."
"I'll be glad to speak with Father Lukas," said Ivan. "But if there's some way around this marriage idea - "
"What he means," said Katerina, "is that all of this is new to him and he will learn everything that is required of him." Her eyes made it clear to Ivan that this was not a good time to throw the marriage into question.
King Matfei whispered to his daughter again. He apparently believed that no one but she could hear him, though of course his harsh whisper was audible in every corner of the room. "How did somebody as stupid as this defeat the Pretender's bear?" And then, in a voice even softer, though still clearly audible: "Are you sure he isn't sent by her as a trick?"
"For the answer to that," said Katerina softly, "you'll have to ask Mikola Mozhaiski."
"Yes, well, he hasn't been by here in years. Not since you were little. I don't know if he even remembers I exist. After all, I'm only a king." Looking up into the beams of the thatched roof above his head, Matfei bellowed, "Does Mikola Mozhaiski talk to anyone but the gods?"
Ivan thought he was joking, and smiled a little. Matfei saw his expression and twisted in his chair to face him square on. "Is that funny to you?"
"I've never met Mikola Mozhaiski," said Ivan. "I don't know anybody here."
"You know my daughter," he said. It sounded like he wasn't pleased about it.
"She doesn't like me," Ivan said, determined that some of the truth, at least, would come out.
The king roared with laughter. "What does it matter if she likes you! She's going to marry you! You're getting more than any other man will have!"
It was