a savvy strategy. It’s a way to do our best work and live our best lives.
Don’t be shy. Ask for help.
Next Steps
1. Can you think of an outsourcing success story, a time when you sought out needed help with a project and were happy with the results? What was it?
2. What is something you wouldn’t want to outsource, even if you could, because you enjoy it so much?
3. What is something you’ve been struggling with that you can ask for help with? Who can you ask to help?
4. When have you experienced a season where you needed to outsource more than usual? Do you anticipate living through a busy season in the coming months? What might you outsource to help you through it?
5. Is there an area in your life where you wonder if you’re doing it right? How might you be able to get help tying up those loose ends?
10
When Things Go Sideways
Why not seize the pleasure at once? How often is happiness destroyed by preparation, foolish preparation!
Jane Austen
During my senior year of college, the whole campus lost power for one day. My first clue was when I arrived at the library for my 8:00 a.m. shift to reshelve returned books before class. I tugged on the door, surprised to find it locked and the interior eerily dark. Only then did I notice the sign: power was out campus wide, academic and administrative buildings were closed, all classes were canceled.
I hurried home to share the news with my roommates. We cheered our good fortune, and those who weren’t already dressed didn’t hurry to change out of their pajamas. We had the whole day in front of us, and it was blissfully, unexpectedly open. No one had had an opportunity to make plans for the day—how could we have? We didn’t know it would happen. This was the ’90s; nobody owned cell phones that beeped with text alerts while we were sleeping.
The timing was exceptional. It happened to be a gorgeous spring day, warm and sunny. Everyone headed outside to the quad, where they studied or played Frisbee or chatted with friends. The campus looked like the cover of a college brochure. Picnic-style meals were served out on the sidewalk, and instead of dining indoors at the usual cafeteria tables, we ate outdoors on the cool grass.
It was a wonderful day, the kind you couldn’t have planned if you wanted to, and one I still remember fondly. And it started with something going all wrong.
Some of us seek opportunities to be spontaneous and go off script, while some of us have a plan for every minute of our day. But whether we’re “go with the flow” by nature or prefer a carefully crafted routine, life can force us to improvise. Things beyond our control inevitably happen—the sitter cancels, the rain necessitates a change of plans, the power goes out—and we have to pivot in the moment, making the best of the situation. We have to change course, and we have to do it fast.
These moments when things go sideways often feel like something we have to survive. Any kind of time-sensitive situation—where we have to make a choice right now—is ripe for overthinking and decision paralysis.
We can’t prepare for every situation, but we can plan for things going awry, as they certainly will. We can create a framework that allows for spontaneity—thus inviting good stuff into our lives—because things don’t always turn out as we intend. And we can take comfort in this: spontaneous moments can also lead to some of the best memories, like that glorious spring day when my college classes were canceled. An unexpected turn of events may throw us into momentary disarray, but if we can push through the messy middle of renegotiating our decisions in a hurry, we may find joy on the other side. The trick is knowing how to get there. Let’s explore how we can do just that.
Just Pick Something
When it comes to overthinking, any opportunity for decision-making is fraught with peril, especially when time is of the essence. Even choosing between good options is tough, and the added time pressure raises the stakes. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in the moment and to choose poorly because of it.
I’ve done this myself, sadly, on numerous occasions. Once when Will and I were in Manhattan, we’d carefully planned our itinerary in advance so we could spend our trip enjoying New York instead of deciding what to do. One day we planned to spend