the sun relentlessly beating down my back, I dug into the unforgiving soil, turning turf and pulling out stones. I’d fill the bottom with gravel.
“Rees!” Lillian’s voice carried over the pasture.
I lifted my head and wiped the sweat from my forehead. She marched across the grassy field, carrying a water bag and a wicker basket.
“Good morning, Lillian.”
“Always so polite.” She gave me one of her rare smiles. “Ana sends her regards.” Handing me the basket, she perused me with her clever eyes.
I lifted the lid gratefully, uncovering fat red grapes, freshly baked buns, and the hard cheese I loved.
“Give her my sincere thanks.”
“She likes taking care of you.”
I cherished the friendships I’d made at the estate. If I were to leave, I’d miss them. I’d never had a family. Lillian, Jona, and Ana already felt like one.
“You’ve made enormous progress. Don’t exhaust yourself.”
“Not possible,” I muttered and gulped more water.
She tsked. “He doesn’t like it when you work too much.”
“I don’t like it when I’m idle, waiting around for him.”
Tilting her head, Lillian narrowed her eyes. “During winter, he’ll be home more.”
“But I might not be here anymore.”
She seemed taken aback by my statement. “What do you mean?”
“Have any of his lovers ever stayed longer than a month or two?” I asked her bluntly.
She pursed her lips and didn’t reply. We both knew I wouldn’t be allowed to stay much longer.
“Let me work. I need to do something during the days, or I’ll go mad in that golden cage.”
Her hand landed on my shoulder, comforting, encouraging. “But you’re not in a cage, Rees. You’re free to do whatever you want.”
I nodded, only because I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I knew what she meant, but she didn’t understand. I wasn’t free, not even a little. I was captive to my love for him.
I tried to go on as usual. I kept busy during the days, helping around the estate with whatever work they needed to get done. Because of the magic he fed me, I quickly became the strongest one around after him. I rejoiced in what my body could do; it became my solace. I was useful and earned my keep.
Tonight, I stayed longer at the stables. The blacksmith came today to change shoes on a nervous stallion, so I held the beast for him while Jona soothed the horse with whispers and caresses.
When he came home, I was still in the bath, and relief surged through me that I didn’t have to wait for him. The wait had become torture. I’d grown to hate the minutes I spent alone in the bedroom, naked.
Still, I couldn’t resent my Cariad. However bitter or angry I was, my heart surged whenever I saw his face. He joined me in the bath and let me wash him. Then he carried me to the bed. My tears spilled over when he held me to his heart, moving inside me. Luckily, he didn’t notice.
His magic tingling in my belly, I lay awake afterward, savoring the way his fingers caressed my arm and side. They stilled, and his hand rested on my hip, limp. Raising my head, I studied his face. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping, but I knew he never did.
I burrowed into his chest, and his hand tightened again.
How would I ever survive losing him?
I needed to find the strength to break the chain that made me his prisoner. I had to become myself again. The longer I stayed, the hollower I would feel. I feared I’d turned into a fragile shell of a man, living off scraps of his attention. When would he lose his interest and send me on my way?
I did manage to finish the draining ditch before the first storm came. In the middle of the downpour, I checked my work, and true enough, the water flowed as it should, joining the dark, muddied creek. I’d have to add a few stones to stop the stream from eating at the clay bank, but that wouldn’t take long. I’d do it the next day, once the rain calmed down again.
Lillian found me by the main staircase. We both dripped water onto the floors.
“There you are! Work well done!” she exclaimed as she gave my arm a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you.”
“The storm season has started, as you see.” She gestured down our clothes, and I chuckled. “We’re celebrating the gloom. The hunters are all already in the kitchen. You’re welcome to join us.”
“Celebrating?”
“Do you drink wine?”
“Never