be.
The idea had my fists clenching and muscles pulsing. Sera whinnied underneath me, so I jumped off her, taking my anger elsewhere. She didn’t deserve to bear the consequences of my foolishness.
Here in the dark, in the ancient parts of the forest, I reminded myself of eternity. Human lives meant nothing in the grand scheme of the universe. Rees was just another soul that would flicker with light for a second and disappear, like millions before him.
One day, he’d die anyway, I told the monster. It howled and clawed at my insides. I gritted my teeth.
Despite the toxic emotion rising, I tried to imagine that future and to realize the consequences. If I were to make a decision about my life, I needed to look at all the possibilities.
Yet I couldn’t think. An angry haze covered my sight, and my mind tangled, only one razor-sharp thought cutting through the rest.
He’s mine. He’s mine. He’s mine.
Growling and snarling, I fell to my knees, battling my nature. It was useless. Tearing my clothes apart, the beast fought its way out, horns, wings, teeth and all. I couldn’t even slow it down, let alone fight it. A roar escaped my throat when I straightened. I could sense animals fleeing through the woods, far from me as fast as possible, rabbits and elks, birds, and a fox, all darting away from the spot where the monster rose from the ground.
He’s mine!
Shaking, I breathed in the cool night air, trying to soothe my dark, wayward soul. My wings stretched and flexed, sending the leaves around me aflutter.
No, I couldn’t bear the thought of making Rees leave me forever. There were no choices to be made.
That night, I learned about helplessness and fear.
Sera strolled back to me, bent her head, and bumped my chest with her nose. I stroked her neck.
“Yes, we’ll go home soon. Rees is waiting for me.”
16
Rees
A smile stretched my lips before I even opened my eyes. Warm and rested, I didn’t want to move yet. I savored the calm, pleasant sensations in my limbs, my chest, my groin. I was never sore or tired anymore, not even if we made love for hours like last night. Heat flared in my underbelly at the memories.
His robe covered my naked body, which meant he’d already left, leaving it as a token. He knew I liked to have a reminder of him close while I slept.
After a while, I got up and dressed for the day.
In the kitchen on the first floor, I found Ana busy preparing lunch for the hunters. I’d told her weeks ago not to bother making breakfast for me. Instead, I came here every morning, took a piece of bread and an apple or a little cheese, and was soon on my way to the stables again. I didn’t like adding to Ana’s work.
“Good morning, Rees,” she greeted me with a grandmotherly smile.
“Good morning, Ana. How are you today?”
“Can’t complain.” She put a big pot of potatoes on the floor, sat down on the stool by the fireplace, and began peeling them. “Do you know where he went? He left early today. Must have been before sunrise. Jona said his horse was already gone when she came to the stables, and she’s always the first to be up and about. Has something happened?”
I paused with my hand hovering above the bowl of apples on the table.
“I don’t know. He didn’t say anything. He never wakes me when he needs to leave.”
“He lets you sleep? That’s good.”
“He’s kind.”
“I’ve worked here for sixty years, boy. You don’t have to tell me that. The nonsense the preachers in the village say about him makes you wonder what kind of god they believe in.” She tsked and shook her head. Her hands flew around the dirty potatoes, thin peels falling off. I stared at her quick movements, at the way she handled the knife with her gnarled fingers. Why had he left so early? Was that unusual?
“I don’t think the preachers themselves believe the things they say,” I mumbled.
“Strange, isn’t it?”
I shrugged.
“Have a good day, Ana.”
“You too, Rees.”
The short exchange with Ana left me anxious. I rushed to the stables and found Jona at work in Sera’s stall.
“Ah, there you are!” she said. “Might as well clean this one properly. Seems he’s going to be gone for a while. He took the saddlebags.”
Unfamiliar fear squeezed my throat. “He won’t come back tonight?”
Jona raised her eyebrows, looking at me with confusion. “Didn’t he tell you anything?