Then I’m sure he’ll be back.”
“Does he leave like this often?”
“He comes and goes as he pleases, works whenever he’s needed. Good thing he doesn’t need to sleep.” She smirked. “But he’s been more at home than ever since you’ve arrived.”
Jona was right. If he left early, intent on staying away for longer than a day, he’d wake me to say good-bye. Or he’d leave a note. I was sure of it.
I kept busy during the day. There was always plenty of work to do at the stables, and these few weeks, Jona had been training two new colts. It was a joy to see them trotting around, to watch their progress. Careful not to stand in her way, I followed Jona’s every step, eager to learn. I carried the saddles for her, opened gates, held the reins, groomed the horses, and in exchange, she shared her knowledge with me. Engrossed, I lost track of time until hunger chased me back into the main house in time for dinner.
My Cariad had not yet returned. It was still early, though, and sometimes he came as late as nine in the evening.
I bathed and shaved, taking extra care to comb and braid my hair. I threw a robe over my shoulders and cast a glance to the velvet pouch with the jewel I sometimes wore for him. But no, not tonight. I was impatient as it was.
In the bedroom, I lit a few candles and rekindled the fire. When the warmth spread, I hung the robe by the door, mindful of his instructions. I needed to be naked when he came. Waiting for him had become delightful torture. Every night, I learned patience, and I even found enjoyment in teasing myself so I’d be burning with want when he finally came to me. He liked it when he could clearly see my need, and I liked to please him.
My cock was already half-hard. Unsure how long I’d have to wait, I tried to lose myself in a book. But the strange morning and Ana’s words about him leaving too early still niggled in the back of my mind, and I couldn’t calm down enough to read. In my turmoil, I couldn’t tell how much time had passed since dinner. After some useless pacing back and forth, I wrapped the robe around me and stepped out of the bedroom. At the end of the hallway by the main staircases hung a large clock. The house was quiet, unusually so, and my heart beat faster when I came closer to the clock. Why did the passing of time suddenly feel ominous?
It was almost eleven.
Back in the bedroom, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I picked up my book again, but the words swam in front of my eyes. With a frustrated sigh, I laid it aside. I crawled back into bed, but I only twisted and turned, too anxious to find a comfortable position. My head buzzed like a beehive.
He would have told me if he’d left for more than a day.
Or would he?
Why did I think I was somehow more important to him than his hunters? He hadn’t told any of them. Not even Lillian knew where he’d gone.
He’d had thousands of lovers before me.
Thousands.
Most of them had only stayed for a few weeks. I’d been here for three months already.
What if…it was my time to go soon?
But I still made him happy, didn’t I? He liked making love to me. He liked coming home to me waiting for him, naked and wanting. Last night, he’d fucked me for hours, telling me how much he desired me, holding me close greedily and possessively. He still wanted me.
For how long?
I grabbed his ruby robe from the hook by the door to the changing room and clutched it in my arms. It still smelled of him.
Immersed in pleasures, in my work, in the happiness I’d found here, I’d almost forgotten about the difference between us. Now, I remembered. My Cariad could never love me like I loved him. I was just a mayfly, fluttering around for a day, while he’d live forever. He might admire me for a fleeting moment, and then he’d forget me.
Sharp pain stung in my belly, and I curled up on the bed, hiding my face in his robe. I couldn’t imagine stumbling through the world without him. An endless void stretched in front of me. I was tied to him now, a part of him. How could I