not tell her what you did?”
Because if I give her hope and this doesn’t work, it’ll break her heart. Because I’m not sure if she wants to be with me anymore. I don’t blame her for writing me off. I fucked up too many times. I need to know that she’s going to want to be with me even if I can’t give her children.
Do I want to have a kid?
Fuck, yes. Arden has taught me the joy of having a child. He’s my nephew, and I love him. I can only imagine what it’ll be like to have my own kid. I wish I knew back then what I know today. The good news is that I’m learning from my past.
It doesn’t matter where our children come from. I’ll love them. Soon, I’m going to sit with Leyla, open up, and tell her what I think about us. I want to hear what she wants and offer what I can give her.
“I tangled myself into a pretty fucked up web,” I say out loud. “Before I speak to her, I want to be free. That reminds me, do you have any news?”
He shakes his head. “They are working on that,” he explains. “Just like you said, they have to untangle before things can be out in the open. As we agreed, we will give you a chance to request a plea bargain for your mother—as long as she’s not involved too deep.”
“Where did you get this agency?” I ask again.
“Classified,” he answers and bursts into laughter. “Fuck, I sound like Vance.”
“Are you involved with them in some capacity?”
He grins the same way his friend Grace does when she doesn’t want to answer a question. “I’m a fucking rock star, Pierce. Why would I be involved with a security agency?”
“Maybe because you are a rock star,” I counteract.
“I just know them,” he insists.
“This is just like the time you and Carter threw Henry’s cellphone into the lake,” I remind him.
“We didn’t do it,” he says firmly.
“I fucking saw you,” I argue.
He grins. “Carter was so much fun. When it was time to go home, I wished I could’ve taken all of you with me.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, it was cool to have brothers for a week. Grace has a huge family, and every time I went to visit, I thought, this is what we’re supposed to be like all year round.”
“We’re not kids, but we can still be a huge family,” I offer.
He glances at me and sighs, “I’m sure when this is over, we’re going back to ignoring each other.”
His words make sense. We have to clear the air, cut all the shit between us, and set a solid foundation while we’re here. This family and my relationship with Leyla can’t work after leaving this house if we try to build something on top of the old debris.
“It won’t be over,” I assure him. “Because when the eighteen months are over, you’ll have a place to come back to when you’re not on tour and you feel like you want to be with your family—us. We’ll be here while you do what you love. Sometimes we might jump on a plane to visit you in whichever city you are playing. I’ve done it before. This time I’ll just make sure to text you so we can hang out for a couple of hours—or the day.”
“You mean it?”
I nod. “I’m not Carter or Mills, but I’m going to try my best to be your friend too, okay?”
“You’re not saying that just because I’m helping you?”
“No, I’m saying it because I mean it, Beac. We’re going to learn to be a family.”
If I can just find the right words to convince Leyla that we can start again. Show her that we want the same things.
That I love her.
That our love is real—and infinite.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Leyla
My friend’s happiness is usually my happiness. Everything is laughter, celebration, and joy until someone says something stupid. Do you know when that stops? When the Assdridge brothers are playing ‘who’s more viral,’ and I’m dragged into the conversation.
Today is the perfect example. Henry proposed to Sophia. Her engagement ring is beautiful. Classy, elegant, and the diamond is bigger than Blaire’s.
Hayes’s defense to why it’s smaller, “I’ve had that ring since I graduated from college. It’s perfect for her.”
The way he says it and looks at her melts my heart.
So freaking adorable!
I’m so enamored about their moment that when Sophia asks, “Where is your engagement ring, and how did he