our relationship for just a moment, but I let the thought go almost immediately. That chapter is over. It has to be because if not, I won’t be able to move on with my life. At this point, we both want different things.
Ironically, I know him a lot better now than I did when we got married.
“I hate her,” I say, and I hate myself more because I start crying.
Furiously I wipe the tears with the back of my hands, but I can’t control myself. It’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to give up, but today I’m over everything. Maybe it’s the stupid hormone therapy. No, it’s the rage. There’s nothing I can do to fix what they broke.
“Sorry,” Pierce whispers, and it’s then I realize he’s holding me in his arms. “How do I make this better?”
“I could’ve been okay without a kid, but you wanted a family, and I just built these sandcastles in the air,” I sob. “I let them go, you know. Our two kids. It was hard, but I’m okay with that. This…this is highly messed up. I have so much love to give, and there are hundreds of children I could give it to. They couldn’t let me have that, could they? They are so angry with the world that they can’t allow anyone to be happy.”
“I’ll fix it, Ley,” he promises.
What is he going to fix?
“But everything is so broken. Is there even a point?”
“We can rebuild. Create something new,” he whispers in my ear, and I want to believe him so badly, but I can’t trust him.
All the bad things between us are starting to weigh so much that all I want is to be away from him. I want to just get out of his embrace. I’m not strong enough. Not tonight.
He’s the one who makes me forget. So, I beg him, “Make it go away.”
The next morning, I wake up after nine. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so much since we arrived in Baker’s Creek. I gasp when I remember that Mills had to be at the factory early today. I jump in the shower, get dressed, and head downstairs where I find Pierce sitting on the floor playing with Arden and his big trucks.
My heart shrinks because damn it if he wouldn’t be a great father, but it’s even sadder that I get why he doesn’t want to do it. He’ll be Uncle Pierce.
“Pwane,” Arden says.
Pierce lifts him and makes noises with his mouth while he pretends Arden is flying around.
My heart stutters, but unlike last night, the falling, spiraling-down feeling is gone.
“Morning,” he greets me when he finally notices me.
“Hey,” I whisper.
“Did you sleep well?”
I nod a couple of times. “I’m going to have breakfast, but afterward, I can take over so you can go to work,” I state.
He stands up, taking Arden along and says, “Let’s make some breakfast for Ley, okay?”
Arden extends his arms toward me and says, “Li-li.”
I take him with me and ask what he’s done today. So far, they’ve fed the chickens, took their daily walk around town, and played while they waited for me.”
“Where are Daisy and Buster?” I look around.
“Beacon went out for a hike and took them with him,” he announces as he chops peppers.
“You’re getting better at cooking,” I point out while watching him prepare an omelet.
“Anything to outdo the other fu—”
“That mouth,” I scold him. “Put a five in the jar.”
“I was going to say fudges,” he clarifies.
“Uh-huh,” I argue.
He smiles at me and says, “Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?”
“No, because you’re my soon to be ex-husband, and it’s best if we keep compliments away from our conversations,” I remind him.
“We could try again,” he insists.
“What are you planning on doing about…the adoption issue?” I change the conversation.
He sighs. “We have to do more research,” he answers while plating the eggs and toasting some bread. “It is going to take time because if we don’t do this right, they might get away with a hand slap or…nothing. I would ask Nyx to help us, but she’s on my mother’s shit list. Yesterday she had a bad day, and she’s sick. There’s a chance she might get canned because Edward will screw up the case they are handling together, and he’ll blame her. Which is fine, because I have another job for her, but still it would’ve been nice to have her work on this special project for a week or two.”
“That