blame.
Arden ended up having the party that she meant to host on Monday. She invited some of the girls from the social committee, and after a few drinks, I even talked to them.
We danced and drank Arden’s funky purple martinis until curfew. Then Ashton snuck back to my room to join me and Arden for late-night snacks after check-in. We stayed up talking, laughing and watching a horrible movie that we made fun of until around two in the morning.
Laughing feels good. I mean, not literally. It actually hurt. But being around these girls who have fought so hard to define themselves, discarding masks and defying expectations, is exactly what my conflicted conscience needed. It was the first time all week I didn’t feel like my temper could burn everything down. Okay, maybe my cry-fest with Mr. Garner had helped … a little. But these girls are my friends. And I only hope I’m a decent one in return.
Arden and Ashton aren’t replacements for Nina and Tori. I know that. And I never want them to be. But I’m not convinced I’ll ever get Nina and Tori back even if we do end up speaking again. When trust is broken like that, on both sides, the threads that held us together will never be as strong. Nina had every right to her anger if she believed Parker was being unfaithful … if they were really a couple. But it was me. So I’m having a really hard time forgiving her for believing I’d betrayed her. She broke my heart. They both did.
Tori knows me better than anyone. Or I thought she did. She knows I can’t lie and that I value my girlfriends above everyone. But she stood by her cousin, refusing to hear me out. They definitely broke my heart.
When I arrive at the country club Saturday afternoon, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been gone at all. Until I hear Kaely squeal and nearly get knocked over when she attacks me in the locker room.
“Lana! I’ve missed you so much! I cannot believe you got grounded! I tried and tried to call you, but they’re such dumb-butts at Blackwood and said I wasn’t approved. I was like, I’m her friend. Why the hell am I not approved?! I mean, I didn’t say that, but I thought it.”
I gently unwrap her arms from around my neck. “I missed you too.”
She stares at me in wonder, like she can’t believe I’m real. “So how’ve you been?”
I struggle with how to answer with even a little bit of honesty and am relieved when Ashton struts in.
“We’re working The Grille together, queens. Hell yes.”
She holds her hands in the air for us to smack. I tap the right one lightly and eye her suspiciously. Kaely slaps her left hand five times in a row really fast, unable to contain her excitement.
“Did you set this up on purpose?” I accuse with narrowed eyes.
Ashton feigns innocence. “What are you talking about?”
I think for a moment. She’s much too happy to be working at toddler hell on a Saturday. Something’s up.
I face Kaely. “Who’s lifeguarding today?”
“Um …” Kaely pauses for a second, and then her eyes light up like a firefly field. “Grant.”
I glower at Ashton.
“Time’s up,” she announces and saunters out the door.
I race after her. “You cannot do anything. Not here.”
“I won’t”—she smirks—“as long as you do.”
“Ashton, I’m not going to tell him … you know … here while we’re working! Remember when I told you about Sophia’s Ball-vitation? I can’t. Please don’t do this.”
“Oh, that was the sweetest,” Kaely recalls. “But so sad. I went in the bathroom and cried for her after he said no.”
I point to Kaely as if she’s proof; although Compassion is Kaely’s curse. “See? I can’t do it here. It’s tacky and in bad taste. It’s supposed to be original, right?”
“Oh, you’re asking Grant to the Ball?” Kaely chirps. “What are you wearing? We picked out outfits last week.”
Ashton spins so suddenly, we practically plow into her. “Lance asked you?”
Kaely nods, her anime eyes peering up at Ashton.
“Why didn’t I know about this? What kind of fricken grand gesture is that if I don’t know about it?”
“Um …” Kaely blinks rapidly, like she’s afraid to answer. “He took me out on the lake and floated these really pretty candles shaped like lilies around the canoe and then presented me with my favorite flavored cupcake—Oreo mocha chip—with a sparkler on top and sang my favorite Ed Sheeran song but