so much.
“What’s so funny?” Ashton weaves between the trees. “Oh, wait. Am I too early? Do you still need more time?”
“Uh, no,” I say, smiling gently. “Your timing’s perfect. Come sit.”
Ashton lowers next to me, and I lean my head against her shoulder.
“Sorry I haven’t talked to you all week. I was kind of a mess.”
“I thought it might’ve been me.”
I pull my head back to look at her. “No. Why would you think that?”
“I know I can be a lot. I dumped a lot on you, and, well … not many can handle it. So I thought maybe … you decided I wasn’t worth it.”
I’m so stunned that it takes me a minute to process it. But I get it. Not many can handle unabridged truth, which is why I choose not to share it more than I do. And Ashton’s been surrounded by inauthentic people her entire life. She’s half-expecting every person to turn on her, which may be why she acts like nothing bothers her most of the time. Letting people see her pain is opening her up to being hurt and rejected again.
“I’m your friend. I won’t abandon you; that’s not who I am. Or what you deserve. I’ll always be honest with you. Asking for time wasn’t about you. I’m sorry you thought it was. This was about me needing space to get my shit together.”
“You didn’t have to do it alone.” Her eyes shine with sympathy. “You don’t have to take on the world by yourself, Lana.”
“Thanks. Guess I’m not used to asking for help either. And I also need to figure out how to not be so angry. Still working on that.” I let out an exhausted breath because it’s damn tiring, trying to keep from exploding.
“Will you tell me what happened?” Ashton asks, a note of uncertainty lingering in her voice, like she’s still not sure she has the right to ask.
I proceed to recount the worst hours of my life and how it overlaps with the worst day of my life. This is the first time Ashton is hearing about The Point and what Vic did. I tell her most of it, leaving out the family stuff, and it’s not because I don’t trust her, but because it’s a lot to ask of anyone to keep secret.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Vic before. But if he’s the one who drugged you that night at the barn, you deserve to know. I refuse to keep silent again, not if it could hurt someone else. I won’t do that to you.”
Ashton releases a heavy breath. “He always gave me the creeps whenever I saw him at parties. But I don’t know if it was him at the barn. I barely remember anything after we joined Courtney to play the game.” She pauses as if fighting to remember. “If there’s any way I can help you make his life hell, you know I will … and I’ll enjoy it.”
She cocks her brow with a malevolent smirk. I chuckle.
“I know you will. I have a feeling he’s not done messing with me.” I sigh. “But I have no idea how to stop him.”
“He’s a psychotic piece of shit. Which means, he’ll screw up, and we’ll be there when he does.” She presses her lips together, reluctant to ask. “Do you know if Nina’s alright?”
“Niall left a message on Tuesday.” After I refused to pick up his call. “He said she’s recovering. The police didn’t have enough to open a case. I knew she wouldn’t say anything. But I guess a witness said they attacked me. It doesn’t matter … she’s never going to forgive me.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong!” Ashton declares, defending me fervently. “I mean, other than stab her. But that still wasn’t your fault.”
“She won’t ever see it that way. They were both so furious; it’s like they couldn’t hear anything I said. They wanted to blame me. All over a stupid guy.”
“Sweetie, I don’t think it had anything to do with Parker,” Ashton consoles.
“Then what?” I can’t imagine what else I could have done to set them off like that.
“Jealousy.”
“Of me?” I scoff.
“Trust me, I know what jealousy can do to a person. It’s surrounded me my entire life.” She shifts to face me. “You have people who care about you … Nina saw it when you and Parker were talking. And the fact that Niall did everything he could to get you away from that life says something. It