body fall into it. The nurse smiles at me, her eyes crinkling at the edges. It’s a practiced expression, I can tell. A cautious look that wants to tell me everything will be okay without promising it will. I avert my eyes when the lump forms in the back of my throat.
“Thank you,” I croak, fighting the swell of emotion.
“Dr. Nolan will be by within the next couple hours,” she tells us. “Is there anything you need?”
I shake my head. She pauses for Nick to answer.
He blinks away from staring at Mom long enough to say, “No, thank you.” Then he returns to watching over her while she sleeps, his hand cupping hers.
I examine him in his vigil. His drawn mouth and swollen, red-rimmed eyes that indicate he’s been crying. He’s fixated on her, like he’s willing her to heal.
“Do you love her?” Despite everything he’s put her through, it’s the only thing that matters right now.
Nick draws his lips tight as his eyes shine with tears. He presses his fingers to his closed lids, pinching the moisture away. “Very much.” The hand that still holds hers squeezes in emphasis. “And I’ll say it for however long it takes for her to forgive me.”
I swallow, the persistent lump making it nearly impossible to speak. “I’m sorry for what I said to you that morning.”
He shakes his head as if to dismiss me. “You didn’t know. I wanted to tell you. Both of you. But it was complicated. Still is.”
“Your marriage to Cassandra?” I confirm.
He nods, picking up Mom’s hand and kissing it gently. “Faye didn’t want to be involved with me if there was a chance I’d go back to Cassandra. So I told her we were divorced to assure her I wouldn’t. Because I won’t. Never will. It’s over between us. But I should never have lied.”
“Why won’t she divorce you?” I ask, my attention still on his ashen face.
“I don’t know. Anger. Vengeance. You name it. She doesn’t give up easily even if she doesn’t really want what she’s fighting for.”
“She doesn’t want you, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have you?” I clarify.
“More that she doesn’t want me to be with Faye,” he explains.
“Why?” I can’t hide the shock in my question. What could Cassandra have against my mother?
“I’m not sure. Maybe because Faye’s younger or because they know each other. It’s not like I can have a civil conversation with her. So I’m letting our lawyers handle it.”
“What about Lily?”
Nick meets my gaze for the first time. “You know Lily?”
“Just met her this summer when I was sent to Blackwood. She’s really messed up over this.”
Nick’s chin trembles as he presses his mouth into a straight line. “She won’t talk to me. Cassandra’s convinced her that I left them for Faye, which isn’t true. Our marriage was over almost a year before. I finally got up the nerve to move out last fall. A couple months later, I reconnected with Faye when she was assigned to temp for our Boston law office.” He searches my face. “Does Lily hate me?”
“She hates me and Mom,” I tell him with a sigh. “Or she did. Not sure anymore. But, yeah, Cassandra plays the role of the wronged wife well. Very dramatic, especially while choking down martinis.”
Nick closes his eyes, his neck tensing. “I can only imagine.”
“Try to talk to Lily,” I encourage him. “I don’t think she wants to be mad at you. She just wants to protect her mother.” I look to my own. “I know how that is.”
Nick releases a humorless laugh, well aware of my protective instincts. “Yes, you do.” He stifles an inadvertent yawn.
“If you want to get some sleep, I’m not going anywhere.”
He looks at my mother, uncertainty tightening his face. “Um, maybe I’ll stretch my legs and get a coffee.” He leans over and kisses her hand again before releasing it. “Do you still have my number in case something happens?”
“Uh, I don’t have my old cell phone.” I reach into my backpack and pull out Joey’s phone still wrapped in aluminum foil. Nick eyes it curiously. I peel off the foil and turn it on, hoping I won’t regret it later. I pull up the Contacts and hand it to him, so he can type in his info. “I’ll let you know if anything changes.”
“Or if the doctor shows up,” he adds. I nod. He looks at her one more time, like it hurts him to leave her side. “I’ll