me having to question him. Somehow, it made me madder, too. After all, let’s face it, it had merely been a couple of hours before when he had said he was waiting for me to come around. He certainly didn’t take time to let things be; he just kept rolling as if nothing mattered. Maybe it didn’t—maybe I didn’t matter that much if he could jump from one woman to the next.
Once we reached the house, something inside of me snapped. “I hate you!” I declared, full of loathing, full of vengeance. “I’m going to try until it happens. I don’t care anymore.”
“I know you will,” he said, boring his eyes into me.
His reaction got me even more heated.
“Good, because I will never pine for you the way I did. I’ll be over you in a heartbeat. Watch me do it. I’m done! I’m just fucking done!”
“Well, it looks like you’re doing a fine job of getting on without me,” he said with a lot of underlying barb.
“By the looks of it, so are you.”
He shrugged, looking away, as if he was done talking to me.
“I better head back, or they might send out a search party. Have a goodnight, Amber.” He gave me one last look before he spun on his heels and started retracing his steps.
“Did you fuck her?” I shot my question out loud enough for him to hear me succinctly.
He stopped walking, taking a moment to let the question sink in before deciding to face me.
“Tell me what you want to hear, and I’ll say it,” he murmured. “If my answer will help you find whatever it is you’re searching for, then tell me what to say to you.”
His nonchalant demeanor was grating on me.
“I want the truth,” I growled back vehemently. “Did you fuck Joanna in your bedroom? Is that why she’s wearing your shirt?” Saying those words out loud made it even worse. God help me, because no Valium could numb me from the pain that was rioting through my body.
He suddenly seemed serious, pondering as he pressed his lips together, deciding how to respond to my question most likely.
“She wanted to…” he delicately murmured before adding, “She tried to seduce me into it.”
His answer wasn’t what I was looking for. He knew it, too, so why was he dancing about the damn subject?
“But did you?” I paused, inhaling deeply. “Did you do it?”
“Stop crying, please. Just go inside.”
Shit. I wasn’t even aware I was crying.
“I can’t stop.” It was the truth. Once I knew I was shedding buckets, there was no going back. All these pent up emotions needed an outlet, and quite frankly, it seemed as though tears were the only solution. “How could you fuck her, knowing I was downstairs?” Okay, that wasn’t entirely true, but whatever, I was crying, dammit.
Apologetic, he strolled towards me then chose to stand before my crying state. “I honest to God didn’t know you’d be there. After how we left things, I wasn’t sure you were going to be, because I thought you left and never planned to come back.”
His stupid answer, the way he was skirting around it, made me bawl even harder. I kid you not, it was harder to put a sad halt to this conundrum. Therefore, I kept crying like a wailing baby in the manger or, as people referred to it these days, having an “ugly cry.” Yep, this was me. Pathetic, ol’ me.
“Amber…” he said, trying to get my attention as he cupped my face before leaving a soft kiss on my forehead. Then he proceeded to seek my eyes, my tear-filled gaze. “I didn’t do anything with Joanna.”
Not even his answer did anything to cure this damn thing. It was like a disease; it kept on going.
“Why not? What stopped you?” I asked in between hiccups.
“Because I gave you my word that I won’t hurt you, so I’ll wait … until you’re over me before I really move on.”
This was all too much. He was just too much.
“Why would you sacrifice so much for me? I’m not worthy of it.” I had been pushing him away, and in a sense, he was still respecting me. It was odd and unheard of.
“Say whatever you like, but in my eyes, you’re worth everything.”
I shook my head, not believing that particular lie.
“Lindsey is your everything,” I said, knowing too well how much he loved her.
“I love her, but in a sense, I have accepted that she’s moved on, and I’m actually