kept going. It was like he knew that, if he pushed his luck, he’d get lucky because I was on Molly. So that’s what he did … until he took whatever pleasure he could from me then passed out cold.”
Silence filled the room, the only audible sound that of Brody’s animalistic breathing. I wasn’t sure if he was about to have a heart or asthma attack. All I knew was he wasn’t pleased—he was furious, and he was going to blow up soon. The question I had was whether his anger was directed at me or to Rob, whose name I hadn’t disclosed. Whatever his opinion of me after hearing the reason behind my odd behavior for the past week, I just hoped he would still keep his promise to never utter a word about this to anyone.
Chapter Twenty
Watching him wearily, I knew I had to say something, or he would eventually die on the spot, and he really did look like he was about to turn blue from where I was standing.
“Brody, please say something. I hope you’re not mad—”
“Mad?” he hissed out as though he was trying his damnedest to rein his anger in yet failed miserably. Frantically pacing the room, he glanced at me with pain, sadness, and pure agony evident in his gaze. “You think I’m mad? I’m fucking incensed!”
It meant so much to me that he cared so deeply. If it had happened to one of my dearest friends, I would be reacting the same way. This was my battle, though, not his.
“Who the fuck is this guy? What’s his fucking name?” he growled out like an angry, caged animal, ready to pounce at any given moment. “I want his fucking name!”
I would do anything to soothe him—anything—except what he was demanding of me. I just couldn’t. This wasn’t his battle.
Shaking my head, I directed a disappointing look at him. “No,” I softly whispered, dejected.
“Why the fuck are you protecting him?” He gave me a look like he thought I had lost my mind. “He fucking took advantage of you. He—he—” Roughly, he huffed out, trying to conjure up the words. “He—” he tried again as pain etched all over his face before giving me those eyes that reached deep into my soul, into my heart, telling me he felt my pain. “He raped you, Amber. How can you protect someone like that?” he asked in a little, broken voice that crushed me.
Rob raped me. But it wasn’t that easy, was it?
“It wasn’t as if I didn’t enjoy it. I mean, I remember flashes. I remember liking it…”
What he did was wrong, but at the same time, I couldn’t lay all the blame on him. I was the one who had placed myself in that position. Had I been a responsible adult, I wouldn’t have been making such idiotic decision. Yet, I did and I was paying for it. So if I gave in and told him Rob’s name, it was a whole different problem to tackle, and quite frankly, I wasn’t ready to face that. I was too frightened, too broken to even consider spilling any of it.
“You were on fucking ecstasy; of course you fucking liked it! That drug was made for that specific reason,” he harshly ground out, frustrated that I wasn’t seeing his argument. “The point is, you said no, and he didn’t fucking listen to you. I don’t care what he told you, but under no circumstances can a guy force a woman to have sex then persistently tell her that wasn’t rape.”
The second time he said the word rape, I felt as if chains were wrapped around my neck, controlling my breathing, choking me.
“This is all just too much…” Frantically, I sought his eyes, hoping he would stop for a second, because I felt like the walls were closing in on me, and I wasn’t sure what I would do once I felt trapped. “I can’t handle this.”
Brody reached towards me, seeking my hand then tightly holding it in his. “Then let me handle it. Let me take care of this for you. Let me help—Fuck!” he desperately begged, beseeching. “How did this happen? This is all my fault!”
“No, don’t blame yourself.” The last thing I ever wanted after confessing about that night was for him to feel guilty or feel as though I was his responsibility. I was far from that.
“I was hostile when you first got here. I was being a dick because I couldn’t stand the