keep making such idiotic decisions? I silently scolded myself as embarrassment left me.
I plucked my skirt off the floor, but lo and behold, much to my dismay and surprise, Brody took the rest of my clothing: my thong, my bra, and my crop top. My temper was about to skyrocket in a second if he chose this time to play his stupid mind games. This wasn’t the time to fuck with me, most especially when I was naked.
“Give my clothes back,” I softly demanded as calmly as I could.
The sex Grinch wasn’t paying attention to my demands, however. He completely ignored my question. “Where do you think you’re going now?”
“Outside.”
“Why? So you can fuck another man?” he grunted out almost in my face. “How often have you done that, I wonder?”
Oh, he did not just go there!
If he wanted to fight, well fuck, let’s have at it.
“Fuck. You! How dare you throw that in my face!” That was the nastiest insult he had given me to date, and I wasn’t going to stand there and let him put bullets through my very thin scrap of armor. “Why? How often have you done that, huh? Fucking every girl out there and imagining it was Lindsey you’re fucking!” My eyes grew wide as my hands got animated while I silently recalled all the women who had come and gone in his life. What a double-standard asshole. “How often did you do that to me? Do you even know you called me ‘Lindsey’ after fucking me drunk? Do you?”
I was red with anger. If he wanted to let it all out, well, I had more to say. All these years, I had bottled everything in: every insult, each hurt, and the profound rejection I had constantly had to deal with. I was now ready for him to hear them.
He was so dumbfounded by my verbal outburst it took him about a full minute to find his voice again.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn’t!” He was too blinded by his own shit to see my pain. “She’s all you’ve ever wanted, and I know I’m never going to measure up to her. I’m only your second choice.” It was a fact, one I had fully accepted, though it had taken years to achieve that. “You’re here now because you can’t have her,” I unabashedly said, baring my heart, my emotions, no holds barred.
His throat bobbed. “That’s not true—”
“Isn’t it?” I shot back, fuming. I didn’t understand why he had to deny the blatant fact. Everyone knew—every single fucking one—so why was he making me more of a fool by lying to my face? It was such an insult after what he and I had gone through. “I don’t appreciate the lies, Brody. We all know who the reason behind your reckless behavior these past months was. Well, guess what? I’m done being the second choice! I’m done with you! I’m done loving you!” I could have dealt with a lot of things, but lying about something that was common knowledge was something I couldn’t go through, especially from him.
For a moment, he seemed flustered about my passionate declarations. “Please don’t say that. We’ve always had this amazing chemistry. I know it took me forever to get here, but I’m here now.” He paused, searching my eyes, my heart, trying to find a scrap of who I used to be. “I’m here now … before you … ready to take the extra step.”
How twisted was this? It had taken him the same years I had used to move on before he could get to this point. There was just so much that had gone on between us that I didn’t see how any of this could work out. I had no gas left to keep going, to keep fighting. I was running on fumes, and it was either I save myself or sink to the bottomless hole that was my life these past years. I had to learn how to love myself, and to do so, getting rid of Brody and my toxic love affair with him had to go first. Then I could deal with the rest.
Making a sad smile, my heart broke before I even uttered a word. “It’s too late. I don’t want you, not like that. Not anymore.”
“You don’t want me?” he gruffly hissed out. “Are you crazy? You were just seducing me five seconds ago. You wanted to fuck me, so how can you look me