explanation for his knowing anything about it.
“So now you’re listening in to my telephone conversations, are you?” It was as if he were adding another outrage to a long list of grievances.
William lowered his gaze. He had never been able to lie, and he could not lie now. “I picked up the telephone at the moment you answered it yourself. I didn’t intend to listen in.”
“But you did.”
He nodded. “I did. And perhaps it taught me the lesson that Polonius learned—you know, in Hamlet—that it doesn’t pay to eavesdrop, particularly when people are talking about you. You’ll never hear anything but ill of yourself. It’s the same with Googling yourself. Don’t Google yourself lest you read something you’d rather not read.”
He was rather proud of the analogy, which struck him as being bang up to date, but it seemed lost on Eddie, who simply stared at him blankly, still cross, of course, but now blank too. William decided to press his advantage. “Oh yes,” he continued. “You hardly defended me when Stevie suggested that you were fed up with me, did you? What did he say? ‘Fed up with your old man? Blah, blah.’ Weren’t those the words he used?”
“Stevie’s just Stevie,” Eddie mumbled. “You know how he is. He doesn’t mean it most of the time.”
“Oh no?” said William. “Yet you went along with him quickly enough, didn’t you, Eddie?”
Eddie shifted on his feet. “You’re trying to change the subject, Dad.”
William’s voice rose as he replied. “Really? Well, let’s get back to the subject then, which is my life. I want to lead a life. I want to lead a life on my terms in my own flat. I want to listen to my music, not yours. I want to spend as long as I like in the bathroom in the morning, washing my own face. I want to have a dog. Maybe even two dogs. More, even. I want to have friends. I want everything that parents give up when they have children, especially children like you. I want quiet. I want to spend my own money on myself and not on you. That’s what I want, Eddie. That’s what I want.”
William’s words were delivered with all the dignity and force of the Gettysburg Address. And the effect was extraordinary. Eddie suddenly stepped forward and put an arm around William’s shoulder. Then he leaned forward so that his face brushed against his father’s cheek, briefly, before he drew back and stared directly into William’s eyes.
“All right, Dad,” he said. “It’s fine to cry. It really is.”
“I’m not crying,” said William.
“Sure, sure,” soothed Eddie. “Don’t hold it in.”
“I have no desire to cry,” repeated William, emphasising each word. “I don’t know why you’re going on about it. I have no desire to cry. I’m in perfect control of my emotions, as I’m sure you can see.”
“But that’s the trouble, Dad,” said Eddie. “That’s the trouble that all men have with their emotions. Particularly middle-class men like you. Elderly middle-class men. They can’t let go. It all builds up and then … out it comes, and they flip.”
William now raised his voice. “I have not flipped,” he said.
“No, not yet,” said Eddie. “But that’s the way it happens. Everything looks fine on the surface, but just below there are all those churning emotions—all of them without an outlet. It’s unnatural.”
William tried to pull himself away from his son, who still had an arm around his shoulder. But Eddie hung on. “I’m with you, Dad,” he said. “We can get through this thing together.”
“What thing?” asked William.
“This whole mid-life crisis thing that you’re experiencing. This dog thing. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. A powerful car. A dog. A younger woman. Same thing. Lots of men do exactly that during their MLC.” He paused. “So don’t you worry any more—it’s going to be all right. If it helps you, then I can live with a dog. I’m cool with that. Hakuna matata. You know what that means? No problems, in Swahili. Hakuna matata, Dad!”
36. I Find You Very Attractive
ON SATURDAY MORNING it was Jo who was up first in the shared flat in Corduroy Mansions. She was an early riser and always had been, a result of her upbringing in Perth. Her architect parents, Gavin and Madge Partlin, were believers in a healthy outdoor existence, which had been one of the reasons why they had moved from Sydney to Perth shortly after Jo’s birth. It was not that their lifestyle in