on a spot in the crowd. I peered down, trying to sort out what had caught his attention. A boy stood apart from the crowd, and I instinctively knew exactly who it was. Grant. I realized now why the kids picked on him. I understood what Josiah meant when he said some of us could hide and others couldn’t. Grant wore his sexuality as a badge of honor. You could see it in the way he dressed, in his eye makeup, and the style of his hair. He had both hands covering his mouth, and he was crying as hard as Felix. Black trails of mascara ran down both his cheeks.
More people had shown up. I recognized many locals, and they were all watching us. The tension was thick.
I spotted Shay and Josiah. Tomi was with them. I startled. That was not what I expected. Knowing how distraught I was when I left the cabin, I wondered if Tomi had called his brother to see if he or Josiah knew what was going on.
Our eyes locked, and I read the fear behind Tomi’s.
Blocking out the audience below, I focused on Felix. I didn’t know how much of our conversation would travel, but it didn’t matter. My goal was to get him off the edge and to safety.
“Felix, I see Grant down there. He looks pretty upset. Do you see him?” I knew he did.
Felix’s chest heaved with another sob, but he didn’t say anything.
“He’s who you’ve been protecting, isn’t he?”
“They’re so mean to him.”
“You two are friends.”
His chin quivered, and he shook his head.
“You’re not friends?” I didn’t believe that.
Felix took a second and glanced at me, defeat bleeding from his core. “I love him. But everyone found out.” His voice trembled and shook. More tears fell. “Everyone knows. It wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“You weren’t ready.”
He shook his head so hard, I feared he was going to topple. I jerked forward, prepared to yank him back.
“It’s a scary world when people find out your secrets, isn’t it? It makes you want to run away and hide.”
Or take your life.
“I can’t do it. I’m not like Grant. Look at him. He’s so proud and unashamed. I’m not like that. I can’t do it.”
“Yes, you can.” The voice came from below. I glanced at Grant, who’d stepped forward.
That answered my question about how far our conversation traveled. Our words must have been clear to everyone.
“You can so be like me. I need you, Felix. Please. Don’t do this.”
Felix’s body was racked in shivers. He hugged himself, but he also grew more and more distant. I didn’t like it. He was shutting down. If he turned off all his emotions, he might take that crucial step forward.
“Do you hear him, Felix? You aren’t alone. It seems scary right now, but it’s not. I promise you. It feels like the end of the world, but it isn’t. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.”
“You don’t get it!” he shrieked.
His sudden anger spiked my fear. I took a step closer so I was within reach.
“You don’t have to go to school and be around those kids!” he shouted. “You don’t know what it’s like to have people look at you like that. They call you hurtful names and abuse you. I’ve seen it. They’ve been doing it to Grant for months. I tried to stop it, but no one listens. No one cares.”
I was losing him.
I stepped up on the ledge and shuffled closer still. We were on the same level now, and I reached for Felix’s hand, wanting to connect us so he could feel human contact and know I was there physically for him too.
“Windsor!” Tomi and John called out simultaneously from below. I ignored them both. I knew I was being reckless, but I had no choice.
“Look at me, Felix. Don’t look at them. Look at me. They don’t matter. I have to tell you something, but I need to know you’re listening.”
It took a minute, but he moved his focus to me. His hand squeezed mine, and I took that as a positive sign. His fingers were like ice. Shock.
I should have felt fear. The kid had a firm hold of me, and if he went over, I’d go over too. I had to trust him like he had to trust me.
“The world is a big scary place, isn’t it? It can feel like we’re drowning when things get too overwhelming. Like there is no other choice. There is. Sometimes, it