demise.
This was ridiculous.
I tapped the email, opening it.
Windsor,
It’s good to hear from you. I admit to being a bit shocked when your email landed in my inbox. Shocked, but also pleasantly surprised. I too enjoyed our conversations. I appreciate how strongly you feel about Jasper and her residents, but to be honest, I lost all love for my home town many years ago. I’m not sure your goodwill could change my mind at this point. Jasper isn’t a place where a person can easily hide or live a private life. Perhaps you understand this struggle? I feel we might share a sense of camaraderie on this issue, although I’m hesitant to broach the subject openly just yet. Call me cautious.
How forthcoming should I be?
Tomi
I read it twice, examining every word. He’d been discrete, like me, but I read between the lines and got the feeling he was acknowledging my suspicions. There was no horror at what I’d suggested, and I thought Tomi understood precisely what I wasn’t saying.
How forthcoming should I be?
It was my turn. The urge to stay cryptic was strong, but if one of us didn’t take a bolder step, we could wind up stuck in this loop of discretion forever.
I was as slow typing on my phone as I was typing on my computer. My thumbs were too big for the little keyboard, so I resorted to a single finger, tapping out the words one by one and overthinking everything.
Tomi,
Privacy in Jasper is a fickle thing. In my case, the only way I’ve survived and kept my secret this long is because I’ve not allowed myself to be who I am. It’s a lonely way to live. Until recently, I’ve been able to disregard that part of my life, but then you came to town and stirred everything up. You reminded me of all I’ve been missing in life. I guess this is me being forthcoming. Am I being brave or stupid? I have yet to decide. I’m terrified to even write this in a private email since it’s been over twenty years since I’ve acknowledged it to anyone. There is a reason I’ve never dated or married. The truth is…
My hands trembled, and I swiped at the gathering sweat on my upper lip. I kept going before I lost my nerve.
The truth is, the first person who has caught my eye in over twenty years ran back to BC a few weeks ago before I could find the nerve to tell him. Let him know he can call me anytime. I’d sure like to get to know him better.
I signed my name, and before I could change my mind or decide if it was too much, I hit send. I stared at the icon that pulsed for a beat before the word sent crossed the screen. That was it. Done.
A sharp pound on my window made me almost jump out of my skin. John Bygrove was on the other side, amusement clear on his unshaven face as he shook his head at my reaction.
“What are you doing?” he called through the glass, waving a hand at my idle position in my cruiser.
I shut down my phone and slipped out the door, wondering how long he’d been watching me. “Waiting for Matt to set up my new computer so I can work. Are you just getting in?”
“Yeah. Sorry about the tardiness. We were up all night with the twins, and I mean all fucking night. Not a single hour of sleep. They’re teething. Stacey had a doctor’s appointment booked for them for this morning, but she needed a hand getting them ready to go.”
“No worries. You have your hands full.”
“I’m so fucking tired. I didn’t know this level of tired existed. I’m not sure I’m thinking all that clearly yet. Forgive me.”
The bags under his eyes and his rumpled uniform were a testament to his sleepless nights and frazzled mornings. His twin girls were five months old and had been colicky since birth. The man rarely saw four hours of sleep in a row.
“I ran by the town hall and ticketed our parking violator. Gretchen pulled me into the office, and I wound up talking with Mayor Croucher for a bit about the construction that will be starting on Wayward Avenue this summer.” John rattled his head and scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “Do you know if anyone did a coffee run?”
“You’ll need to heat it, but Harriet got a trayful earlier this morning.”
“Love that woman.