as the audience members got up and started heading down the metal risers. Everyone was in a surprisingly good mood tonight, for whatever reason, practically skipping to their tents.
Trey came to me, having shifted from his tiger form, wrapping his arms around me and inhaling my hair. He always said I smelled different after a show, whatever that meant. The man was completely nude, for he couldn’t shift while in clothes—or, rather, if he did, the clothes got all torn up. He was something to see naked, let me tell you. Even after all this time, I still couldn’t get enough of his muscles.
No one spared him a second look, having seen his nakedness countless times before, though Nigel did send a glare his way. Not because he was naked, but because he was naked and embracing me in the back. Our time together must always be in either his personal tent or mine, not anywhere out in the open. Not where Nigel could plainly see us.
“Right,” Trey muttered, though he did sneak a peck of a kiss onto my cheek with a sheepish grin. “The main show might be over, but we still have a few hours ahead of us. Want to walk with me?” Usually I accompanied him to his tent while he was in his tiger form, but for whatever reason, tonight felt different.
I shook my head. “You go on ahead. I’ll catch up.” I watched him turn around, letting my gaze fall to his bare ass cheeks, and within a moment he’d shifted onto all fours, once again the beautiful, strong, majestic beast he was inside.
The backstage area was getting less and less packed with performers, all of them acting as if nothing at all was wrong, like they couldn’t feel it. Like it was just me.
Nigel moved beside me, looking quite regal in his outfit and top hat. “What’s wrong? You don’t seem too eager in the after show tonight.”
I shook my head, something tight in my throat. “I need air. Go on with the others. I’ll be right there.” I gave him a smile before ducking out of the tent, heading in the opposite direction as everyone else, away from the front of the circus, towards the back, where our more private space was.
The audience members weren’t allowed back here. This was where we lived. This was our home, and the circus in the front of the area was all a show.
I couldn’t say how long I walked, time itself not seeming to matter to me. The moon started out low, but as the minutes ticked by, it began to rise higher in the sky. The breeze was cool tonight; this place had scorching hot days and cold nights, something I was used to in my hometown.
Something invisible tugged at my heart, and I let myself be pulled through the maze of tents. After a while, when I emerged in the back of the property, where the tents gave way to nature, I spotted someone. Someone who most definitely shouldn’t be standing there, gazing up at the moon, as if he had nowhere else to be.
He was tall, his hair dark, but I couldn’t see his face, as I’d come up from behind him. He wore a hoodie with its sleeves pulled up, jeans that had fraying seams. Not one of us, but an audience member, someone I’d gazed over as I smiled and played the part with Nigel during the act.
He was the one I’d felt. This guy… he was the one I felt calling out to me the entire night, a sad song sung from his very soul.
I opened my mouth to speak to him, to talk to him, but it was as my feet crunched on the grass below that he heard me, and when he turned around to face me, I knew exactly why I’d felt so strongly toward him.
He was me, or who I could’ve been if I wouldn’t have died and joined this circus. The sorrowful glimmer in his eyes, the pain on his face; even a blind man would be able to feel the ache in this man’s soul. Only a few years older than me, but a soul that held onto such great sadness.
Our eyes met, and for a moment, nothing was said. We stood there, silent, for so long, I lost track of time. He wanted it to end. He was tired of that life. Go to the circus, have one final night out, and