the only place I knew it was safe.
Trey shifted his weight, staring at me with those peculiar, catlike eyes. “Everything is different here,” he said. “You’ll realize it soon enough. You start to lose who you are, who you were out there, and you become whatever this place needs you to be—whatever he needs you to be.”
He didn’t need to elaborate on who the he Trey mentioned was. I knew. Nigel. The Ringmaster who could be soft and tender, creepily sweet one moment, and then dark and severe the next.
“Not me,” I said, swearing it to myself right then and there. I would never lose myself in this place, with these strangers. This would never become a home for me, and these people would never be a family to me. How could I ever grow to truly care about people who’d done nothing but watch me die? And how could I ever look upon Trey and not remember how his animal teeth had felt ripping apart my neck?
The smile Trey gave me then was sad but knowing. “I said that, too,” he said. He turned his head away, gazing out at the field beyond the circus, beyond the barrier we could not cross. I knew I’d eventually try every angle, just to make sure there wasn’t a weak spot anywhere, but right now, I just felt so hopeless.
Maybe another time, I’d try that.
“I was the last one Nigel took, before you,” Trey went on, pensive. “That was ten years ago, I think. Doesn’t feel like it, but… there are just some things you know deep down.” He let out a sigh. “I swore to myself I would find a way out of here, that there was no way Nigel and his crazy crew could keep me here.”
Though I wasn’t particularly a fan of the man beside me, I still found myself eager to listen. “What happened?”
His thick, wide shoulders went up and down once. “I don’t know.” Those golden eyes turned back towards me, worlds of emotion in their depths I could not place. “It’s like this place gets inside of you, turns you into something you never imagined you’d be.”
“Like killers,” I muttered, not bothering to hide the bitterness in my tone. “Because you killed me, in case you forgot.”
“I will never forget last night,” Trey said, a firmness behind his voice I couldn’t deny. I believed him. Whether or not he felt guilty or remorseful over what he did to me, I couldn’t say, but gazing at him, listening to him, I believed every word he said. “Some of them enjoy it. Things can get… freaky around here, especially at night. You don’t have to be like that, but you do have to answer the call, when Nigel needs you.”
“And what will he need me for?”
Trey was quiet for a few moments, those strange eyes staring at me. “I don’t know, but he always thinks of something.” He looked like he wanted to say more, to talk to me more, but he must’ve sensed that I was still grappling with all of this, for he said, “If you have questions, feel free to find me. I’ll answer any I can. And, again, I am sorry, Thana.” With that, he got up, walking away.
I turned my head, watching him go, feeling an odd sense of wistfulness. I didn’t like him—he was the bastard who tore me apart, for God’s sake—but it was nice talking to someone, even if that someone was telling me crazy things.
This place… who would’ve known this place was nothing more than a circus of death?
Chapter Three – Nigel
Thana did not exactly want to fit in, especially not at first. The first few days after her transformation were spent trying to find a weakness of this place, a way to get out, even though I’d told her there was no way out, even though Trey and numerous others had warned her to cease her attempts, should she only rile me up in the end.
I tried to understand where she was coming from; it was not every day you died, nor was it every day a complete stranger told you that your life never mattered before now. I was no more than a stranger to her, I knew, telling her these things, things which she did not wish to hear, but there was no point in lying or trying to put her down easily.
Sometimes there was nothing but the truth, and the truth could hurt worse than