and says in a quieter voice, “She got fired.”
“Good,” I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. “She was a pervert and a fucking rapist. She deserved it.”
“That may be, but I needed that A,” he snaps. “Without it, my GPA isn’t high enough to get into Juilliard. I’m just fucking lucky that I was still a minor during the majority of our interactions, so the DA is leaving my name out of it. She’s fucking going to jail, Peony.”
“And do you care?” I inquire seriously, arching a white brow. At his flabbergasted expression, I continue on, “Do you care what happens to her? Do you have feelings for her?”
Maybe I read the situation all wrong. Maybe he was a willing participant…though that doesn’t change the fact that he’s a student and she’s his teacher. That he was only seventeen when they first began hooking up, maybe even sixteen. That she was bribing him with better grades to get him on his knees before her. It’s all kinds of fucked up, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt for bringing this injustice to light. I always knew I was vindictive, but I never suspected that my need for revenge would expand to include people other than myself.
Cassian stares at me for a long, tense moment. He crosses his tree trunk arms over his chest, the muscles rippling with every breath he takes.
“No,” he bites out at last. “I don’t have fucking feelings for that crazy bitch. I told you that already. I first had her as my teacher my junior year. When I started failing the class, she offered me a deal.”
I don’t need to be a brain surgeon to know what, exactly, that deal entailed.
“And you just took it?” I ask, struggling to hide my shock and horror.
The look Cassian throws me is capable of freezing lava in a volcano. It’s a look I normally would have expected to see from Lucas, not Cassian. Not my fiery, passionate king.
“Of course not. But then I realized that I needed that fucking A. Besides, it wasn’t like it was a horrible hardship. Mrs. Town was hot and had big tits,” he snaps scathingly. I can tell how hard he’s trying to act like it’s not a big deal, like he truly wanted it, but he flinches slightly. And I can just picture it now—a slightly younger Cassian desperate to get into his dream school and willing to do anything to make it happen. Including having sex with his older, married teacher.
“I want to say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” I confess slowly, trailing my fingers over the top of the wooden desk. “But I understand what you’re going through.”
“You don’t have any fucking idea!” he hisses through clenched teeth. “No fucking idea.”
“Some people abuse their power,” I continue on, ignoring his outburst. “They make you feel small and young and fucking weak.” Tears burn my retinas as my eyes follow the trail my fingers take. I lazily doodle circles into the tabletop to distract myself as the ghosts of my past finally catch up with me. “Sometimes, they offer to change your grades. And other times, they offer you protection from middle school bullies.”
I turn towards him pointedly, and he staggers back a step as if my gaze is a gun and he’s just been shot. Horror blossoms on his face as he stares at me with dawning realization.
“No,” he breathes.
I shrug noncommittally, trying to act like I’m not flaying myself open, my guts dripping down my body and landing in a puddle at my feet.
“Yes.” I shake my head vehemently. “I mean, no. I didn’t accept his offer.” Though that didn’t mean he didn’t try to force me to. “You remember Mr. Gurrel, right? The science teacher?”
Every muscle in his face freezes as his hands clench even further. I can see the whites of his knuckles as his breaths saw in and out, the noise nearly deafening in the suddenly silent room.
“I went to him for help,” I confess, my voice still a hushed whisper. “And he wanted something in return for it. Cassian, I fucking despise you, but I understand what you’re going through. I understand that you feel powerless and that you’re trying to justify it any and every way you can. I understand.”
Like too much pressure being applied to a flimsy layer of ice, Cassian explodes. Cracks. Fucking shatters.
He releases an agonized scream capable of being heard by God himself. He throws his head back, unclenches