take Ashley's backpack so her cousin can get in, too. “Are we going shopping for makeup? You said we could get makeup.”
“I don't see why not?” I start, looking back at Aaron. He smiles at me, as if he didn't almost just admit something happened in elementary school, of all places. “Let's grab Heather, and we can go to the drugstore or something.”
“Your wish is my command,” Aaron says, but with a surprising lack of sarcasm. He starts the van and we head over to grab Heather. I feel like a shitty sister-mom, pulling her out of the afterschool program so often, but it's whatever works, right? Whatever it takes to keep her happy and away from her father's idle hands.
We go to the same drugstore where Hael and I got the morning-after pill, and I help the girls choose their makeup carefully. Aaron stands back at first, but Kara and Ashley are far more skilled at engaging him than I am.
He ends up posing with his hands out so they can use the tester makeup on his skin, deciding what they think will look best on their own eyelids. Aaron’s gaze lifts up to find mine, and we both smile. It’s a surreal moment, like something out of a fairy-tale that can never last. If Aaron hadn’t joined Havoc, if we lived in a different world …
“This one,” Kara declares, the last one to make her selection. She’s picked out a sparkly pink shadow that I know Penelope would’ve loved. My own sister can’t abide by pink in any way, shape, or form, and has chosen a neon green that makes my teeth hurt. But that’s okay, we’ll figure out a way to blend it, so it doesn’t look garish.
“What happened to your face again?” Heather asks as I grab some concealer and foundation for the angry pink gash on my cheek. I glance down at her and then lift my eyes up to find Aaron’s. He’s pursing his lips, a fire burning in his gaze that makes me awfully glad that I’m not Billie Charter.
“I got hurt at the Halloween party, I told you that,” I say, refusing to lie, but unable to tell my little sister the truth. She narrows her eyes on me, and we both know she’s smart enough to figure out that I’m not telling her the most important part of the story. I’ve been beyond careful to keep the stab wound on my arm hidden from her, too, but I know she doesn’t miss the bloodstained bandages in the trash can in our bathroom. “Why don’t you each pick out a piece of candy, too?” I suggest mildly, and it only takes the three girls a split-second to race toward the front counter together.
“Candy, huh?” Aaron asks, following me as I switch aisles and pause in front of the pregnancy tests. I don’t even care that he’s watching as I grab a few boxes. “Shit, Bern,” he murmurs as I tuck them under my arm, grabbing some tampons and a box of disposal menstrual cups in case I get my period. “Do you think you might be pregnant?”
“I have no idea,” I snap back at him, even though he’s honestly being pretty damn nice right now. “I hope not.” Closing my eyes, I take a calming breath and then glance over my shoulder at Aaron. He looks as ridiculous as Hael did in here, tattoos bathed in fluorescent light and silhouetted by sterile white walls. “If I were, would you hate me for it?”
He cocks his head at me, like he can’t even fathom where I’m coming from right now.
“Are you fucking with me, Bernie? I could never hate you.”
I look down at the items in my arms, and I feel so goddamn stupid all of a sudden. Victor is going to be the death of me. I’m going to end up pregnant and ruling the underworld of this stupid city. My breath escapes in a strong exhale, and I just feel so heavy all of a sudden.
“I’m not stupid; I understand how birth control works,” I say, more to myself than to Aaron really. He reaches out with an inked hand and takes the boxes from my overburdened arms. The brush of his fingertips across my skin leaves me breathless as I lift my gaze again.
“You’re not stupid at all,” Aaron says with a bit of a scowl, his attention fixing on the kids for a minute, calculating their distance from us,