child's laughter drifts back to us from down the street, a potent reminder that even if it feels like everything is going to shit in my own life, other people are still living theirs.
It doesn't seem fair, somehow. But, like Hael just said, life definitely isn't fucking fair. If it were, Penelope would still be alive, and my stepfather would be rotting six feet under.
“I kind of have to, unless you're willing to move on the Thing tonight. If I don't bring Heather back soon, Pamela will call the cops on me again.” Vic nods, but I'm guessing his lack of a response is all the answer I need. They're not going to move on Neil, not tonight. Technically, I could probably stay here until tomorrow; it’s only Saturday.
But if Neil came to find me and the boys, that means he senses a threat. Monsters always know to look for other monsters in the dark. Maybe if I come home a day early, Pamela will chill, and she won’t poke the bear before we’re ready? Or maybe you just need space to think because the guys pissed you the hell off?
“I'll have Hael give you a ride on his way back home,” he says, and then he starts to stand up. Instead of releasing my arms, I squeeze him a bit tighter and he pauses. I close my eyes against the cool, night breeze, the scent of the white roses in the yard carrying over to me.
“Whatever reason you had for keeping that video from me, it wasn't good enough. It wasn't your choice to decide what to do with it. It was mine.”
Vic stays quiet for several seconds, and I wonder if he's going to bring up the thing with Aaron today. Between all the bullshit at the Harbin house, I'd almost forgotten about that. Almost, but then there's a sore spot inside of my heart where Aaron sits, and it's quite obviously bleeding. I take one of my hands away from Vic's waist and press it against my chest.
“That's where you're wrong, Bernadette. I'm the boss here, no matter how you feel about it.”
A scowl forms on my lips, and I swing my leg over the side of the bike. Victor grabs my wrist, but I shake him off, spinning to face him with a sneer.
“You might be the boss, but you told me there were no lies in Havoc, no secrets. Tell me then, what did Kali give you guys that was so goddamn special that I deserved to suffer for it?”
“It wasn't just about the price she paid, Bernie,” Vic tells me, turning slowly to look at me as he pulls out another cigarette. Smoking seems to be a nervous tic of his. I must be making him nervous a lot as of late. “It was about you. You were attached to Aaron; you were too attached to us. We needed to show you this wasn't a life you wanted to live.”
I just stare back at him. On the outside, I'm stoic as fuck. On the inside, I feel like I've just been hit with a tidal wave, like cold, frothing waters are raging around me, like my legs could be knocked out from under me at any moment.
“You said you wanted me here, even though nobody else did,” I repeat, trying to understand the inner mechanics of this group. For some stupid reason, I thought I'd pegged their motivations. Silly me. I don't understand Havoc at all.
“After I saw what you'd become, I knew,” Vic says, lighting up and watching the stars flicker to life in the black velvet sky. “I knew we belonged together. Before that, you were too sweet, too soft. This life would've eaten you alive.” He glances my way. “I was willing to let you go. Not anymore. I'm going to marry you, Bernadette.”
My heart stutters in my chest, but I refuse to let Vic get to me, not right now.
Somebody has to stand up to him. It might as well be me.
I cross my arms over my chest, the pulse in my head throbbing as I try to rationalize what he’s just said to me. “It was about you.” They tortured me, not for Kali, but to get rid of me? I can’t decide if that makes the pain I suffered worse … or better?
Goddamn, I must be irreparably broken.
“If you can get Pamela to agree to sign off on it,” I quip back, running my tongue across my lower