Shirley was much more entertaining when she was enumerating the inadequacies of Samantha than when extolling the virtues of Miles. What was more, Ruth was bursting with something thrilling that she wished to tell Shirley.
'So there's an empty seat on the Parish Council,' Ruth said, the moment that Shirley reached the point in the story where Miles and Samantha ceded the stage to Colin and Tessa Wall.
'We call it a casual vacancy,' said Shirley kindly.
Ruth took a deep breath.
'Simon,' she said, excited at the mere telling of it, 'is thinking of standing!'
Shirley smiled automatically, raised her eyebrows in polite surprise, and took a sip of tea to hide her face. Ruth was completely unaware that she had said anything to discompose her friend. She had assumed that Shirley would be delighted to think of their husbands sitting on the Parish Council together, and had a vague notion that Shirley might be helpful in bringing this about.
'He told me last night,' Ruth went on, importantly. 'He's been thinking about it for a while.'
Certain other things that Simon had said, about the possibility of taking over bribes from Grays to keep them on as council contractors, Ruth had pushed out of her mind, as she pushed out all of Simon's little dodges, his petty criminalities.
'I had no idea Simon was interested in getting involved in local government,' said Shirley, her tone light and pleasant.
'Oh yes,' said Ruth, who had had no idea either, 'he's very keen.'
'Has he been talking to Dr Jawanda?' asked Shirley, sipping her tea again. 'Did she suggest standing to him?'
Ruth was thrown by this, and her genuine puzzlement showed.
'No, I ... Simon hasn't been to the doctor in ages. I mean, he's very healthy.'
Shirley smiled. If he was acting alone, without the support of the Jawanda faction, then the threat posed by Simon was surely negligible. She even pitied Ruth, who was in for a nasty surprise. She, Shirley, who knew everybody who counted in Pagford, would have been hard-pressed to recognize Ruth's husband if he came into the delicatessen: who on earth did poor Ruth think would vote for him? On the other hand, Shirley knew that there was one question that Howard and Aubrey would want her to ask as a matter of routine.
'Simon's always lived in Pagford, hasn't he?'
'No, he was born in the Fields,' said Ruth.
'Ah,' said Shirley.
She peeled back the foil lid of her yoghurt, picked up her spoon and took a thoughtful mouthful. The fact that Simon was likely to have a pro-Fields bias was, whatever his electoral prospects, worth knowing.
'Will it be on the website, how you put your name forward?' Ruth asked, still hoping for a late gush of helpfulness and enthusiasm.
'Oh yes,' said Shirley vaguely. 'I expect so.'
III
Andrew, Fats and twenty-seven others spent the last period on Wednesday afternoon in what Fats called 'spazmatics'. This was the second-from-bottom maths set, taken by the department's most incompetent teacher: a blotchy-faced young woman fresh from teacher training, who was incapable of keeping good order, and who often seemed to be on the verge of tears. Fats, who had set himself on a course of determined underachievement over the previous year, had been demoted to spazmatics from the top set. Andrew, who had struggled with numbers all his life, lived in fear that he would be relegated to the very bottom set, along with Krystal Weedon and her cousin, Dane Tully.
Andrew and Fats sat at the back of the room together. Occasionally, when he had tired of entertaining the class or whipping it into further disruption, Fats would show Andrew how to do a sum. The level of noise was deafening. Miss Harvey shouted over the top of them all, begging for quiet. Worksheets were defaced by obscenities; people got up constantly to visit each other's desks, scraping their chair legs across the floor; small missiles flew across the room whenever Miss Harvey looked away. Sometimes Fats made excuses to walk up and down the room, imitating Cubby's bouncy up-and-down stiff-armed walk. Fats' humour was at its broadest here; in English, where he and Andrew were both in the top set, he did not bother to use Cubby for material.
Sukhvinder Jawanda was sitting directly in front of Andrew. Long ago, in primary school, Andrew, Fats and the other boys had pulled Sukhvinder's long, blue-black plait; it was the easiest thing to catch hold of when playing tag, and it had once presented an irresistible temptation when dangling, like now, down her back,